Brownies as Easy as Your Mom

It is time for your boxed brownie mix to descend to the gates of hell because the messiah has returned. As the title says, these brownies are as easy to pound out as your mom and it takes about as long with that "Amsterdam squeeze" she has going on. Be sure to check out the additional variations provided at the bottom (another burn on your mom). Let's begin:

Mix together 1 1/2c flour, 1 1/3c sugar, 1/2c Cocoa powder (It is NOT what you are thinking junkie), 1/2tsp salt, and 1/2tsp baking powder. Then mix in 1 1/2c chocolate and 1/2c nuts (pecans, walnuts, etc.). With what you have accomplished here you can make a fantabulous gift for your loved ones or in your case your incarcerated children, parents, and/or spouse but it might be hard to get through security. See tips below for how to make said gift.

Now toss in 1/2c vegetable oil, 1/4c water, 3 eggs (cracked stupid), and 2tsp vanilla. Stir it hard and smooth until combined. Pour into a greased up 9X9 pan bake at 350 deg for no more than 35 min. The toothpick trick does not work due to the amount of chocolate.

Editor's Note: The above recipe makes cake like brownies. If you would like fudgier brownies use fewer eggs but at least use one.

Variations:

Peppermint - Use pecans. Use 1tsp vanilla and 1tsp peppermint extract. Crumble peppermint (like a candy cane or something) and chocolate all over the top right when it comes out of the oven.

Peanut - Use peanuts. Toss in some chunky peanut butter at the end (Use JIF or something that hippie crap doesn't work; Hippies are always hard to work with) and be liberal even though liberals suck.

Gift thingy - Pat & Layer salt, baking powder, 1/2c flour, cocoa powder, 2/3c sugar, 1c chocolate, 1c flour, 2/3c sugar, 1/2c chocolate, 1/2c nuts, in an airtight glass container with a note that explains the wet ingredients and cooking temp and time.

'Special' - Okay you prius driving pot smoking vagabond, for the last time drugs are bad and not to mention illegal and if you don't like it go back to Russia or whatever the hell they call that country now.