"What the Hell is a
Buffin?!?" A
buffin,
ignoramus, is a biscuit in muffin form. Everything tastes better in the shape of a muffin. Sure you could make traditional biscuits with this recipe OR you could have a
badass buffin: your choice. These are also sweet because unlike every other
biscuit recipe they require NO buttermilk. Who the fuck has buttermilk around all the time? No one that's who. So buttermilk biscuits can kiss my
buffin ass. Let's begin:
In a food processor blend 2c flour, 3
tbl baking powder, 1/2tsp baking soda, 1/2tsp salt until they are completely combined. Then toss in 3/4-1c sour cream (this is the buttermilk substitute) and about 1c grated cheddar cheese for flavor (or about 10 slices of
american cheese you sick bastard). Give it "on-off turns" until you get
coarse meal looking shit. Then add tablespoons of ice cold water followed by "on-off turns" until you get something that looks like this crap above. I think I used 6
tbl for this batch.
Form it into a disk and roll it out on a heavily floured surface. I don't get it; almost all recipes for everything say 'lightly floured surface.' That is bullshit. Fuck that. Unless you want your shit to stick to everything and drive you fucking insane, roll it out on a heavily floured surface.
This is the fancy part so don't fuck it up
dumbass. Cut your shit into strips like these up here.
Now cut those strips into sections the size of a muffin tin and put four sections per muffin hole as shown above. Don't worry about the bottoms; you don't need to
squeeze them together. If you take these fancy steps your lady will be like "
Buffins?!? You shouldn't have! These are SO fucking cool let's do it right now."
Bam!
450 deg for 10-12 minutes and you got yourself the new fad on the streets so you don't have to feel like an idiot at parties anymore. Well...maybe not.
In a food processor blend 2c flour, 3tbl baking powder, 1/2tsp baking soda, 1/2tsp salt until they are completely combined. Then toss in 3/4-1c sour cream (this is the buttermilk substitute) and about 1c grated cheddar cheese for flavor (or about 10 slices of american cheese you sick bastard). Give it "on-off turns" until you get coarse meal looking shit. Then add tablespoons of ice cold water followed by "on-off turns" until you get something that looks like this crap above. I think I used 6tbl for this batch.
Form it into a disk and roll it out on a heavily floured surface. I don't get it; almost all recipes for everything say 'lightly floured surface.' That is bullshit. Fuck that. Unless you want your shit to stick to everything and drive you fucking insane, roll it out on a heavily floured surface.
This is the fancy part so don't fuck it up dumbass. Cut your shit into strips like these up here.
Now cut those strips into sections the size of a muffin tin and put four sections per muffin hole as shown above. Don't worry about the bottoms; you don't need to squeeze them together. If you take these fancy steps your lady will be like "Buffins?!? You shouldn't have! These are SO fucking cool let's do it right now." Bam!
450 deg for 10-12 minutes and you got yourself the new fad on the streets so you don't have to feel like an idiot at parties anymore. Well...maybe not. 
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