I cannot believe my life has come to this: explaining how to make a fucking egg sandwich. Make some damn eggs and put them on some crappy bread genius. What the fuck do you need me for? If you cannot make this already don't even try. Go spend $8 on what really costs $0.30 and be sure to tip 20%. What? You're still here? Fine, let's plow through this shit and get it over with.
Cook bacon according to previous post on
bacon (oh my God I am so depressed right now). Crack two eggs into the bacon grease (after the bacon has been removed). If you are only cooking two strips of bacon you sissy, be sure to use a smaller pan to concentrate the bacon grease. The eggs will bubble and sizzle but don't fret you big baby. It is all part of the nature of things.
Season with salt and pepper. While we are at it let's dump some
Old Bay on here to kick it up a notch. Once the eggs are no longer translucent (i.e. you can't see though them dumbass) give the pan a shake and if they slide around in one piece, you can flip them.
This is what your eggs should look like post-flip. Do not season any more as you will not be flipping past this point. Add thin slices of your choice of cheese at this stage if you wish. Wait a minute or two and you should be good. Transfer to paper towels to drain off all the grease or transfer directly to bread.
Whole wheat bread works the best but you are probably Wonder Bread's majority stockholder so you can use that crap if you want. Cut in half and place one piece on the other to make it look like it came out of some fancy kitchen even though it didn't.
Cook bacon according to previous post on bacon (oh my God I am so depressed right now). Crack two eggs into the bacon grease (after the bacon has been removed). If you are only cooking two strips of bacon you sissy, be sure to use a smaller pan to concentrate the bacon grease. The eggs will bubble and sizzle but don't fret you big baby. It is all part of the nature of things.
Season with salt and pepper. While we are at it let's dump some Old Bay on here to kick it up a notch. Once the eggs are no longer translucent (i.e. you can't see though them dumbass) give the pan a shake and if they slide around in one piece, you can flip them.
This is what your eggs should look like post-flip. Do not season any more as you will not be flipping past this point. Add thin slices of your choice of cheese at this stage if you wish. Wait a minute or two and you should be good. Transfer to paper towels to drain off all the grease or transfer directly to bread.
Whole wheat bread works the best but you are probably Wonder Bread's majority stockholder so you can use that crap if you want. Cut in half and place one piece on the other to make it look like it came out of some fancy kitchen even though it didn't.
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