Okay moron. Let's see if you can actually pull off a shrimp dish. These are by far and away the easiest shellfish to whip up in your kitchen so if you fuck these up DO NOT try any other crustaceans, or mollusks for that matter (i.e. anything you eat that comes from the sea and is not a fish you tard). I wish you the best of luck in this elementary endeavour. Not really; I hope you fail. Let's begin:
For this recipe we employ the age old technique of 'shake and bake,' or in this case 'shake and sear.' Make sure you have an opened, oversized beer to consume; DO NOT drink Pabst you wackass hipster. Throw your shrimp into a ziplock bag and then throw in a bunch of
Old Bay blackened. Zip it up and shake that bitch like you caught her stealing money out of your wallet.
Heat up your dry pan to about a seven and then toss on your badass seasoned shrimp. Cook for ~1-2 min on each side. Do not use pre-cooked shrimp, genius, and be sure to de-shell and de-vein them if they did not come that way already. I can just see you biting into the shell and saying wow this asshole guy sucks at cooking. Actually you are the asshole who cannot cook. Jerkoff.
You can tell when they are done because they are no longer grey and have turned pinkish. Also look down the center and make sure they are meaty and not translucent (remember our word of the day?). Move to a plate and enjoy, fucker.
For this recipe we employ the age old technique of 'shake and bake,' or in this case 'shake and sear.' Make sure you have an opened, oversized beer to consume; DO NOT drink Pabst you wackass hipster. Throw your shrimp into a ziplock bag and then throw in a bunch of Old Bay blackened. Zip it up and shake that bitch like you caught her stealing money out of your wallet.
Heat up your dry pan to about a seven and then toss on your badass seasoned shrimp. Cook for ~1-2 min on each side. Do not use pre-cooked shrimp, genius, and be sure to de-shell and de-vein them if they did not come that way already. I can just see you biting into the shell and saying wow this asshole guy sucks at cooking. Actually you are the asshole who cannot cook. Jerkoff.
You can tell when they are done because they are no longer grey and have turned pinkish. Also look down the center and make sure they are meaty and not translucent (remember our word of the day?). Move to a plate and enjoy, fucker.
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