Start by making a pie crust, plate it, and toss it in the fridge while you prep the filling. In a large bowl toss some broccoli with salt, pepper, vegetable oil, and 2 minced cloves of garlic. Spread on a baking sheet and roast at 400 deg for 5 min. While the broccoli is cooking, grate some cheddar cheese and finely slice some red onion. When you have pulled out the broccoli and it has cooled completely whisk together 9 eggs with some milk and salt and pepper. Don't try to use any other spices. Your ingenuity will prove to be a complete and utter disaster. I hate to say it, but not even Old Bay will work here (gasp!).
Spread most of the cheese on the bottom and layer the red onion slices on top of the cheese. Plop down the broccoli floret side up (i.e. fuzzy side up prodigy).
Pour the egg-y mixture evenly into the pie and top with the rest of the cheese. Don't worry if the egg looks a little shallow. It will rise. That's what eggs do when cooked. Think scrambled eggs. Damn you really have a problem visualizing shit don't you? It gets really tiresome trying to explain this shit to a completely helpless individual such as yourself. Just so you know.
375 deg and ~40 min later you got yourself a slammin' pie. "Wow that quiche looks really ugly." You fucking dick...Okay so even the stones throw from perfect cooks like me screw shit up sometimes. But once again only God is perfect. That is why his name is God. But at least it will taste awesome. A little hint if you fuck it up like this: don't let your lady see the whole pie. Hide it while it is cooling and when it has properly cooled cut out a piece and deliver it to your lady. The individual piece will be flawless. DFWTM.
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