Broccoli, Red Pepper, and Cheddar Cheese Soup

This silky sensual soup is perfect for those cold rainy days when you are stuck inside with your lady. The soup, however, cannot assist your lack of conversational skills, sorry. Just turn on the TV; Hopefully the "Bad Girls Club" is on the Oxygen network. Let's begin:

OkaythisistakigmeforevermykeyoardrokeecauseIspilledcoffee
oitadIcaotusespaces,'n'or'b'ulessIcopyadpaste.Iamtiredofdoig
thatsosuckitadtrytodeciphermyscriptasshole.Prepyourveggies
adcheese:oeredpepper,oeheadofroccoli,oeoio,adtwocupsof
cheddarcheese.OhmyGodthisfuckigsucksass.Tooadyouarethe
oetryigtoreadit.Ikowwhatthefuckitsays.Forthisrecipethily
slicethestemsofyourroccolisowecasautethemwiththeoio.

Let'stalkaoutprep.Ialwaysputmyshitilittleowlssotheyareready
wheIeedthem.Cookigisaloteasierwheyouareotruigaroudlikea
chickewithitsheadcutofftryigtogetshittogherwhileyourothershit
isurig.Soiasmallowlmix1tspcumi,oehalftspmustard,oefourthts
ppepperadsomesalt.

oiltheroccolifor2to3miutesadmovetoicewatertostop
thecookig.Reservethreecupsliquidforlater.Sautetheoio,
redpepper,adroccolistemswith1cloveofgarlicutilsoft
whichwouldeaout8miutesdumass.Tossiyourspice
mixtureforaoutamiuteadthetossi2talespoosofflourfor
aothertwomiutes.Slowlyaddthe3cupsofreservedwater
adsimmerfor10miutes.

Stirithreefourthscupheavywhippigcreamadyour
cheeseutilmelted.Pureethreecupsofthechukystuff
adreturtothepot.Addyourroccoliadheatthrough.
Holyshitthatwastiresome.Youetterejoythissoup
ecauseIputashitloatofeffortitothisoe.Myheadhurts.