You suck at cooking. You fuck up rice. You think Cayenne is that fat bitch from around the way and Old Bay is the piece of shit that keeps calling the cops on you and your boys. Stop being such a fucking loser and grow a brain. Cooking is easy as shit. Learn it.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Creamy White Sauce
You are intimidated by the creamy whiteness. You duck and hide in its presence. In reality, the white sauce is easy to master but you must have the right teacher. You have come to the right place. I can whip up the white sauce like no one's business. Soon you will be able to as well. Let's begin:
Over a low temperature melt 1/2 stick of butter. Once it has completely melted, whisk in 1/4c flour until a smooth paste has formed. Do not allow chunks to exist in your whiteness. Chunks tell you something is wrong, very wrong.
Whisk in 1 1/2c milk and bubble until thickened (see above). Salt and pepper that bad boy and you can even taste a little to see if it needs a little more thickening.
So I chose to put this sauce over cheese ravioli and roasted asparagus. "Damn your staging sucks. Where the fuck did you learn to plate a fine dish?" Uh, maybe at your mom's house jerkoff? Believe it or not I put a lot of thought into this plate and it backfired into my face. Looks better than a picture of Top Ramen though huh? Especially since it was paid for in cash and not food stamps.
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