Monday, March 23, 2009

Spinach and Mushroom Enchiladas

This recipe is so easy a mentally disabled chimp with cataracts could successfully execute it. Can you? Believe it or not this enchilada recipe is not a casserole but rather an exercise in mini burritos with enchilada sauce. "Burritos are not authentic Mexican cuisine dude." I don't give a flying fuck about authenticity. As previously discussed, this is America and we do whatever the hell we want with complete disregard for everyone else. Do you really care what Mexico thinks of your enchilada dish? I didn't think so. Let's begin:

Clean and thinly slice 1/2 lb of those cheap button style mushrooms. DO NOT use the bag of dried mushrooms your buddy left at your house. Your lady will not appreciate it and it will probably result in a trip to the hospital. Saute with 1 onion and 2 garlic.

Toss in one bunch of spinach (cleaned and de-stemmed stupid) and cook for about a minute until wilted. Remove from heat. Add 1 can black beans and about 1c of cheese (preferably pepper jack but cheddar will work) and stir until combined. "This picture is so dark I can hardly see anything." You can see damn fine you whinny loser. Stop crying and get back to cooking.

Make some enchilada sauce. Time to fry some corn tortillas in vegetable oil. Heat it up to medium (i.e. level 5) and fry on each side for 30 sec or so. You have to move quickly like illegals running for the border. Stack finished product on paper towels. Smell that? That is the scent of authenticity, America style. Revel in it and love it. Welcome to the real world.

Roll the delicious filling up in the fried tortillas: three to a plate. "Wait a minute, do they even have spinach and mushrooms in Mexico?" No they do not; We do. We do not live in Mexico genius. Would you like to eat what migrant workers eat or would you rather consume American cuisine? That's what I thought.

Smother with enchilada sauce or drizzle the sauce across the top in a fancy pattern. Chicks dig it when food looks good as well as tastes good. For them the presentation matters. I don't really give a shit what food looks like as I am a functional being not an emotional one. You do, however, have to cater to your audience so make shit pretty, stupid.


S0rcy said...

Sorry, this sucked ass. Tortillas had no flavor and the spinach and mushrooms were dry and nasty. This was tough tasting. I do not say eating because after two bites it all went in the garbage and I made some real enchiladas. American enchiladas. Cooked.

Cooking Asshole said...

So you fucked it up?