Terrorist Balls (aka
falafel in the
pre-9/11 world) are a hearty and nutritious side or main course. They are easy and inexpensive to make so you can save your blood money for petroleum products. Popular and readily available in the markets of
TerroristLand, these tasty balls are sure to satisfy your lady. Be sure to use the word 'ethnic' when describing them. Let's begin:
Take one small chopped onion and one drained can of chickpeas (aka garbanzo or terrorist beans) and blend them up in your food processor but don't liquefy them. Dump in a handful of flat leaf parsley and a handful of cilantro. Don't forget to remove the stems
dumbass. Now add 1tsp salt, 1tsp cumin, 1tsp red pepper flakes (more if you want them to 'blow up' in your mouth!), and 4 minced cloves of garlic. Mix thoroughly.
Sprinkle 1 tsp baking powder, and 2
tbl flour. Pulse. Keep adding flour until you get something that looks like this (it took me 11
tbl for this one). You want the dough to be plastic-y like C4. Move it to a bowl, cover, and refrigerate for at least 2 hours. You better fridge it stupid or else you will fuck it all up, again.
Form the dough into oblate spheroids (the shape of the Earth genius). Heat up a shitload of vegetable oil to about a 7 and get ready to fry some Terrorist Balls, America style.
Let them get really brown as you can see here. Terrorist Balls need to be pretty darn brown to be authentic. Now it is time to throw back some balls with your lady. Garnish with all the usual terrorist suspects: Humus, Pita, Cucumber, Tomato,
Tahini, etc.
Take one small chopped onion and one drained can of chickpeas (aka garbanzo or terrorist beans) and blend them up in your food processor but don't liquefy them. Dump in a handful of flat leaf parsley and a handful of cilantro. Don't forget to remove the stems dumbass. Now add 1tsp salt, 1tsp cumin, 1tsp red pepper flakes (more if you want them to 'blow up' in your mouth!), and 4 minced cloves of garlic. Mix thoroughly.
Sprinkle 1 tsp baking powder, and 2tbl flour. Pulse. Keep adding flour until you get something that looks like this (it took me 11tbl for this one). You want the dough to be plastic-y like C4. Move it to a bowl, cover, and refrigerate for at least 2 hours. You better fridge it stupid or else you will fuck it all up, again.
Form the dough into oblate spheroids (the shape of the Earth genius). Heat up a shitload of vegetable oil to about a 7 and get ready to fry some Terrorist Balls, America style.
Let them get really brown as you can see here. Terrorist Balls need to be pretty darn brown to be authentic. Now it is time to throw back some balls with your lady. Garnish with all the usual terrorist suspects: Humus, Pita, Cucumber, Tomato, Tahini, etc.
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