I discovered this recipe while hiking in the wilderness. I found this odd stone with unique etchings all over it. Then an angel came to me and said "I am Chilini the god of chili making and you have found the hidden recipe developed by me. I will translate the stone if you promise never to share it with anyone." I agreed but fuck Chilini and her pretentious ass. She thinks she is so great just because she is a god. Bitch. Let's begin:
Saute 2 diced onions, 2 sliced red peppers, 6 minced cloves of garlic, and maybe a jalapeno if you are the adventurous sort. Saute until everything has softened to the consistency of your spine.
Add 1tbl Ancho powder, 1tbl chili powder, 2 tsp oregano, 2 tsp cumin, and 1 tsp cayenne. It does not look pretty but this is the proper way to cook in spices. Wait about 2-3 min and then start dumping in all the other ingredients.
Toss in 3 cans of beans (your choice - I like black and kidney) but leave one un-drained, and one un-drained can of diced tomatoes. Boil for a little and then simmer for about 20 min. "Hey where is the funny? This is just like a normal cooking show." Dude, DO NOT fuck with me today as I am not in the mood. I am doing the best I can so suck it the fuck up and keep reading dipshit. Oh yeah you can also put in some Worcestershire, liquid smoke, and/or Tabasco.
At this point you are pretty much done and you can remove the chili from heat. I add corn at the end to give it a little color and depth, whatever that is supposed to be. As a garnish you can use cilantro, sour cream, cheese, and/or green onion. So there you have it. The secret special vegetarian chili to end all vegetarians chilies. Oh by the way Chilini said anyone else who read this recipe would be cursed for life. I guess I should have told you that up front.
Saute 2 diced onions, 2 sliced red peppers, 6 minced cloves of garlic, and maybe a jalapeno if you are the adventurous sort. Saute until everything has softened to the consistency of your spine.
Add 1tbl Ancho powder, 1tbl chili powder, 2 tsp oregano, 2 tsp cumin, and 1 tsp cayenne. It does not look pretty but this is the proper way to cook in spices. Wait about 2-3 min and then start dumping in all the other ingredients.
Toss in 3 cans of beans (your choice - I like black and kidney) but leave one un-drained, and one un-drained can of diced tomatoes. Boil for a little and then simmer for about 20 min. "Hey where is the funny? This is just like a normal cooking show." Dude, DO NOT fuck with me today as I am not in the mood. I am doing the best I can so suck it the fuck up and keep reading dipshit. Oh yeah you can also put in some Worcestershire, liquid smoke, and/or Tabasco.
At this point you are pretty much done and you can remove the chili from heat. I add corn at the end to give it a little color and depth, whatever that is supposed to be. As a garnish you can use cilantro, sour cream, cheese, and/or green onion. So there you have it. The secret special vegetarian chili to end all vegetarians chilies. Oh by the way Chilini said anyone else who read this recipe would be cursed for life. I guess I should have told you that up front.
4 comments:
You know what goes really well with vegetarian chili? Beef. Beef goes really well in vegetarian chili. How dare you make a vegetarian chili. That's almost worse than non-alcoholic beer. If Chili doesn't have beef in it, then it's nothing less then bean soup... you stupid idiot. I hope your child is less dumb then you. lol... j/k... kind of.
You like a clogged colon? Add some beef. That shit will be there for a week. Plus my child is also your sibling dumbass.
I used TVP (textured vegetable protein) in this recipe for texture / protein. Great chili without the clogged colon.
Good call.
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