You suck at cooking. You fuck up rice. You think Cayenne is that fat bitch from around the way and Old Bay is the piece of shit that keeps calling the cops on you and your boys. Stop being such a fucking loser and grow a brain. Cooking is easy as shit. Learn it.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Barbeque Chicken
So after a great round on the links I decided to throw some chicken on the barbeque, slow style. If you have not wrapped your pea sized brain around it yet, the ONLY way to cook anything on the grill (except burgers and steaks) is to slow your role. This allows you to kick back and relax while the meat turns out tender and juicy as all fucking get out. Let's begin:
You are going to employ the same method we used for the barbeque pork. Put all the coals on one side (direction of wind) and put the chicken on the other. "Can you explain this some more." Are you shitting me? You even have a picture there to show you! Just think indirect heat, asshat. Wash the chicken but do not apply anything to it. "What about...?" NO! Also make sure your chicken is boned. Flip every half hour and cook for an hour per pound. The cuts above are 1lb each. Do I cook them for two hours or one hour? "Two hours!" Wrong bitch. As they are individual pieces I only need to cook them for one hour.
Make your barbeque sauce. Apply to chicken in the last five minutes of cooking just so you get a nice hot glaze on there. Eat it.
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