Who doesn't like fried chicken? That's right, no one. Today we are going to dabble in the art of frying, chicken style. I am a fried chicken aficionado and I have got a recipe that will blow the stupid hipster chucks off you and your lady. "Let me guess, it involves Old Bay?" You're damn right it requires Old Bay. Don't fuck with me young man. Let's begin:
Get a large ziplock bag and pour in 1c buttermilk, 1tbl Old Bay, and 1tbl paprika. This is probably the first time you have used a ziplock bag for something other than narcotics, you liberal junkie. Make sure the chicken is swimming in it and toss her in the fridge for about an hour. Oh yeah, take the skin off your chicken stupid.
In a separate large ziplock bag, combine 2c flour, 1tbl Old Bay, 1tbl, paprika, and 1tsp cayenne. Toss in your buttermilk chicken and shake that bad boy. No! Stop! Don't pour in all the buttermilk too you fucking retard. Just pull the chicken out of one ziplock and put it in another. Not rocket surgery here people. Once the chicken is coated, put on a baking sheet and cover with a CLEAN dish towel for 20 min. "Why?" Don't ask stupid questions, okay?
Over high heat (about an 8), fry the chicken until browned on each side as seen above. Cover and lower the heat to about a 2. Continue flipping every 15 min or so. After 30 min raise the heat to an 8 again and fry each side so it gets that awesome crispy exterior.
Look at that. The grease is turning the paper towels clear. Now that is what I am talking about. This is going to be some good motherfucking eating. Too bad you probably fucked up so bad your coating is floating in the pan, loser. Eat it.
Get a large ziplock bag and pour in 1c buttermilk, 1tbl Old Bay, and 1tbl paprika. This is probably the first time you have used a ziplock bag for something other than narcotics, you liberal junkie. Make sure the chicken is swimming in it and toss her in the fridge for about an hour. Oh yeah, take the skin off your chicken stupid.
In a separate large ziplock bag, combine 2c flour, 1tbl Old Bay, 1tbl, paprika, and 1tsp cayenne. Toss in your buttermilk chicken and shake that bad boy. No! Stop! Don't pour in all the buttermilk too you fucking retard. Just pull the chicken out of one ziplock and put it in another. Not rocket surgery here people. Once the chicken is coated, put on a baking sheet and cover with a CLEAN dish towel for 20 min. "Why?" Don't ask stupid questions, okay?
Over high heat (about an 8), fry the chicken until browned on each side as seen above. Cover and lower the heat to about a 2. Continue flipping every 15 min or so. After 30 min raise the heat to an 8 again and fry each side so it gets that awesome crispy exterior.
Look at that. The grease is turning the paper towels clear. Now that is what I am talking about. This is going to be some good motherfucking eating. Too bad you probably fucked up so bad your coating is floating in the pan, loser. Eat it.
17 comments:
I'll try it. Maybe it'll work. Most likely it won't. That's okay. I can always eat the paper towels.
the paper towels were tasty too...
Looking like a win/win situation...
Why thefuck did you take the skin off asshole?
so the flour will stick proper like stupid
Flour sticks to the skin wise ass. Next time I make real fried chicken I'll take pics and show you butt munch.
I like the old bay addition though. ;)
I hope you choke on your precious chicken skin
I'd eat that shit. The chicken, not the hipster bitch wearing Chucks. Under no circumstances should a female be wearing those things. I hate broads with stinky feet... even if their panties smell good. I love fried chicken.
This fuckin recipe right here kicks some serious motherfuckin azz!!!!! I be fixin this shit up tonites fo sho!!!!
for reals dawg.
Old Bay on the chicken--very nice!
Mike's comment deserves something better than the old standard "LOL", but still, LOL!
Old Bay goes on everything!
I agree! We keep a restaurant-sized Old Bay on hand. I feel the same way about Tabasco.
it is excellent on deviled eggs
Take the skin OFF?!?!?! Are you outta your mind?
Skin off is much better, dummy.
This fricken back woods hill billy butt lovin convention better taste good!
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