How to Eat an Artichoke

A while back I taught you how to cook an artichoke, but figuring out how to consume it can be just as difficult: for you. So this time you can cook your artichoke and eat it rather than discarding the whole thing because you thought I tricked you into cooking something inedible. Let's begin:
Start by removing the bottom leaves; Do not eat them. I feel stupid asking you this but did you cook the artichoke? If not, stop now and start steaming, genius.

Now that the bottom leaves have been removed we can start pulling off the mid-leaves and eating them. See how the leaves in the stack have teeth marks and the one on the right does not? Guess how you should eat the leaves dumbass. Make sure to dip the yummy part in mayonnaise or melted butter.

If you have reached this point, congratulations. I am impressed. I really did not think you were capable of such an arduous task. Stop pulling off leaves and rip the top off.

Now you have something that looks like it came out of a sci-fi film. "I hate sci-fi." Good, me too. Remove and discard all the hairy shit from the base. The top section with the leaves, as well as the hairy shit, is inedible (i.e. do not eat it assclown).

Cut the base into four sections and there you have it. This is what you usually see when artichoke comes on a pizza and crap like that. The heart of the artichoke is the cash money but we had fun eating the leaves right? So now, the next time you go to a fancy dinner you will not make a total ass out of yourself by trying to cut through the artichoke with a steak knife. You are very welcome.