These crusty and difficult breakfast breads originated across the pond in
TyrannyLand by some stupid monarch but they were perfected by the Americans. We always make everything better, like french fries. "I am tired of muffins dude." If you had a brain on your head you would know these are not really muffins; It is just a fucking name
dumbass. Let's begin:
Okay people, roll up your sleeves and put your thinking caps on because this is going to go fast. In a small bowl dissolve two packets of active dry yeast in 1c of hot water. Set aside. Scald 1c milk and pour over..."But how do I..." I said we are going to plow through this
fuckjob so fucking shut up and listen. Pour the "warm" milk over 1/4c butter and 2
tbl sugar. Combine. Stir in 2c white flour and 1 1/2c whole wheat flour. Now you should have something like the above picture. Knead for while.
Grease that bitch up in a bowl and fully cover for about an hour. "But you don't have it fully covered in the picture." Oh my God. I only have it semi-covered for illustrative purposes jackass. Fully cover the damn dough.
Roll it out into a big square over a cornmeal dusted surface. Since I only like the bottoms of
english muffins (like your mom), I roll them thin and then stack them so I get two bottoms! You do not have to do this but I would highly
recommend it. Cover for another 30min.
Over medium-low heat (like a 3) toast your redcoats for 10
ish minutes per side. Cool on a wire rack. To consume, split and toast. Eat it England!
Okay people, roll up your sleeves and put your thinking caps on because this is going to go fast. In a small bowl dissolve two packets of active dry yeast in 1c of hot water. Set aside. Scald 1c milk and pour over..."But how do I..." I said we are going to plow through this fuckjob so fucking shut up and listen. Pour the "warm" milk over 1/4c butter and 2tbl sugar. Combine. Stir in 2c white flour and 1 1/2c whole wheat flour. Now you should have something like the above picture. Knead for while.
Grease that bitch up in a bowl and fully cover for about an hour. "But you don't have it fully covered in the picture." Oh my God. I only have it semi-covered for illustrative purposes jackass. Fully cover the damn dough.
Roll it out into a big square over a cornmeal dusted surface. Since I only like the bottoms of english muffins (like your mom), I roll them thin and then stack them so I get two bottoms! You do not have to do this but I would highly recommend it. Cover for another 30min.
Over medium-low heat (like a 3) toast your redcoats for 10ish minutes per side. Cool on a wire rack. To consume, split and toast. Eat it England!
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