Steamed Artichoke

There is nothing like a freshly steamed artichoke: rough on the outside but tender on the inside. Upon first glance you might question their edibility. As we all know, however, the nectar of the fruit is always sweet. Let's begin:

So here is your basic artichoke. Do you have a steamer? Do you know what a steamer looks like? It is that metal thingy that can open and close like some fucked up UFO. You know what I am talking about. If you don't have one, leave the 'trunks' on the artichokes and prop them up in a pot. If you do have one, cut those trunks off.

Fill the bottom of a pot with water to about the level of the steamer. No you idiot, the steamer goes the other direction. I can't believe you just did that. Boil, covered, for 45 min or so.

After the appropriate amount of time, your flowers should have blossomed as seen above. Also take note of the color change as it is an almost perfect indicator of the desired level of doneness.

"How the fuck do I eat this thing?" While asked in a completely asinine manner, this is a semi-good question. Too bad you don't know because they are super fucking good. Sucks for you.