"What the fuck I thought you said I should only
steam artichokes?" Well
dumbass, if you would actually give me a moment to explain it to you, your dinosaur brain would figure out that this is just an alternative steaming method. So before we jump to any conclusions, lets begin:
Cut an inch off the top of your raw artichoke. Pull it open a little like a tender blossoming flower and then scrape out the center with a
mellon baller. Don't leave any of that fuzzy shit as it is inedible. Remember what we just did for future use as this is the first step to stuffing an artichoke. Rinse out cored artichokes.
Cram three sprigs of flat leaf parsley into the tops of the artichokes. Heat up 1/4c olive oil over medium heat. Okay STOP. For the last fucking time do not use
Extra Virgin Olive Oil to cook shit! I know it sounds tempting but once you cook it, it will turn to poison like in some weird Greek myth. Virgins always lead to trouble. Add your artichokes to the pan along with 1 head of unpeeled garlic, 8 thyme sprigs, 1/4c water, and some salt and pepper.
Cover and braise for 35 minutes while turning the artichokes and garlic every 7 minutes. These artichokes were fantastically tasty and probably the best I have ever had. You would have to be really stupid not to cook them this way. So just continue
steaming them the normal way
asshat.
Eat it.
Cut an inch off the top of your raw artichoke. Pull it open a little like a tender blossoming flower and then scrape out the center with a mellon baller. Don't leave any of that fuzzy shit as it is inedible. Remember what we just did for future use as this is the first step to stuffing an artichoke. Rinse out cored artichokes.
Cram three sprigs of flat leaf parsley into the tops of the artichokes. Heat up 1/4c olive oil over medium heat. Okay STOP. For the last fucking time do not use Extra Virgin Olive Oil to cook shit! I know it sounds tempting but once you cook it, it will turn to poison like in some weird Greek myth. Virgins always lead to trouble. Add your artichokes to the pan along with 1 head of unpeeled garlic, 8 thyme sprigs, 1/4c water, and some salt and pepper.
Cover and braise for 35 minutes while turning the artichokes and garlic every 7 minutes. These artichokes were fantastically tasty and probably the best I have ever had. You would have to be really stupid not to cook them this way. So just continue steaming them the normal way asshat. Eat it.
10 comments:
I'm waiting for that imbecile Chris and Kimmy to tell you they made this with grapes and canola oil and wonder why it sucked.
dinosaur brain, i liked that one!!!
Ms. Doll,
"chris and kimmy" is a douche bag
Mr. C,
a really small dinosaur
The reason they call the heart the "choke," is because if you accidentally eat those prickly things, they will become lodged in the throat and choke you to death. So it's essential to thoroughly scrape them off before ingesting the delicious artichoke heart!
I learned that little tidbit on Food Network's "Chopped," but the bitch on the panel could have been lying.
That sounds like bullshit...
I can think of about five people I'd like to test that out on!
now that you mention it...
Doll......how about Beulah!!!
She's #1 on the list!
I accidently ate some of the cooked choke in a stuffed artichoke last night. I was quite tipsy and it was dark at the table. I thought it was some of the stuffing at the bottom of the bowl...it was kind of mixed together. And I just forked it in. I didn't choke but I have quite bad diarreah today so that must be it.
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