I lied. I could not keep well enough away from my kitchen. When the option of ordering versus making a pizza was presented to me I had no choice. I had to make one. Your lazy ass, on the other hand, would not even consider making a pizza. Mostly because your pizzas suck as bad as my photography, loser. Let's begin:
There are a lot of different flavors going on in this pizza and at first I was concerned it would be too much but of course it turned out perfectly. Start by making your
pizza crust. Roast your
asparagus with some olive oil, salt and pepper in a 400 deg oven for 5 minutes. For the sauce mix one can of tomato paste with one can of tomato sauce and add some basil, oregano, paprika, minced garlic, and salt. Top pizza with sauce, asparagus,
pre-cooked tofu, and feta. You do not need to use the same toppings,
dumbass. Just use whatever is in your fridge but be sure to
pre-cook the ingredients that need to be
pre-cooked (e.g. most vegetables, most meats, etc.).
Cook your pizza in a 450 deg oven for 15 minutes and you have yourself a pizza faster than one can be delivered and it even tastes better than
DiGorno. Eat it.
There are a lot of different flavors going on in this pizza and at first I was concerned it would be too much but of course it turned out perfectly. Start by making your pizza crust. Roast your asparagus with some olive oil, salt and pepper in a 400 deg oven for 5 minutes. For the sauce mix one can of tomato paste with one can of tomato sauce and add some basil, oregano, paprika, minced garlic, and salt. Top pizza with sauce, asparagus, pre-cooked tofu, and feta. You do not need to use the same toppings, dumbass. Just use whatever is in your fridge but be sure to pre-cook the ingredients that need to be pre-cooked (e.g. most vegetables, most meats, etc.).
Cook your pizza in a 450 deg oven for 15 minutes and you have yourself a pizza faster than one can be delivered and it even tastes better than DiGorno. Eat it.
34 comments:
Ok you had me until you said Feta. I do not like it at all. I like tofu and asparagus. Where is the bacon? Why not bacon wrap the asparagus before putting it on the pizza?
Alas the other person consuming this pizza was my vegetarian lady so no bacon on this pizza. But bacon wrapping the asparagus is a very, very good idea!
Tofu sucks. But so do you so no surprises there.
Is there any food you DO eat?
I usually drink my meals, but I eat the olives. Next time I do eat actual food, I will make it, post it on here and make everyone feel inadequate and jealous.
Doubtful...your pitiful attempt will be in vain
Doubtful...nobody makes vegan food as amazing as I do.
Doubtful...vegan food sucks! Unless it is wrapped in bacon.
They make vegan bacon.
I am sure it is really good *snicker*
sorry TWC... I'm going to have to agree with him here. I have to eat the real thing or go without.
btw... I haven't eaten yet today... you and the lady wanna come to SLC and fix me and the fam some killer food? I'll put you up for the week?
Sure...a flight out of PDX can't be that expensive.
Auri, don't. He's so NOT awesome, you'll kill yourself.
You're right, I'm not awesome. I am SUPER awesome!
You may be awesome at pool. but that's about it. and by "about", I mean, legitimately, that's all you got.
Oh please...I got game coming out of my ass
k fine then on one condition... twc comes as well!! big ass party! I don't have a pool table though. Maybe we'll just make the guys stay out in the back yard? It's stopped raining for like 2 days now... the grass should be dry;)
I don't care... just as long as he cooks me some delicious food. I'm gonna go make some banana bread. My mom has a killer recipe (the only one I really like) and I have a bunch of way too ripe bananas. Haven't thought about dinner. Any ideas?
ALN - Maybe you should pull your head out of your ass and realize how much you suck at life.
Auri - I'd love to go, but you'd totally regret inviting ALN. He totally fucking sucks.
tee hee hee. K... you're invited then=) I get the funny feeling you two are either related or have known each other for quite some time. Which one?
And by the way... my banana bread was incredible!
1 cup crisco
3 eggs
6 bananas
2 cups sugar
4 cups flour
2 t baking powder
1 t bading soda
1/2 t salt
nuts (finely chopped walnuts... up to you how many)
makes 2 loaves
bake at 350 for 30-40 minutes (until toothpick comes out clean) and let sit for 30 minutes to cool before removing from pan or I swear it will fall apart!
Nummy!!
and that would be baking soda... not bading soda
Crisco?
We all make mistakes...wxcept for me
Except for your typo, fucker.
And Auri, we're not related, nor have we known each other for a long time. In fact, we JUST broke the ice yesterday and met for the first time. I obviously rocked his world, but it was a total waste of time for me because he sucks.
We also had people ask today if we were related. Weird. Thank GOD I don't share DNA with him, I'd kill myself.
^^Stalker. This chick is insane!
You wish you were lucky enough to have me stalk you, but in reality, I can't stand you.
That's funny I feel the same way...
Weird tho, since you keep asking me to hang out.
I am just trying to get on your mom's good side.
You'll fail at that, just like you do at everything else.
you two crack me up=) And yes... crisco. Old school but I swear it's got to be what makes it taste so good. I've tried all the new recipes without it and I don't like them at all. Crisco... the white crisco... not the baker's butter stuff.
And try not to hurt his ego too much dear... he's still gotta hit the sack with Ms. ALN tonight;)
Too bad I already parted that Red Sea!
Interesting choice of words there pal. I'm sure your lady appreciates that!
And just had ANOTHER piece of banana bread... am feeling like I should be sending this shit to the homeless people instead of sitting here getting tubby. sigh.
and apparently I'm an idiot becaue I forgot to mention that you have to cook it at 375 for half an hour first. This is why you have the cooking blog and not me
"Interesting choice of words there pal. I'm sure your lady appreciates that!"
User error due to excessive consumption of booze. She would kick my ass if she read that.
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