Due to your excessive lack of culture, you hate asparagus. You have consumed it every way possible (boiling, roasting, pan frying, etc.) but you still cannot stomach the food of the elite. Well time to bring it down to your level, Loser
McTrashy. Today everything is going to change because we are going to wrap these fuckers in bacon and roast the shit out of them. Let's begin:
Start by washing your big ass stalks of asparagus. If you can only find the puny little asparagus spears do not attempt this recipe. It will not work. Get out your food bank bacon and start wrapping. Move from the head to the base and be sure to pull it taut. See above for visual aid, idiot.
Place in a 400 deg oven for 20 minutes. There you have it: heavenly bacon wrapped around tender stalks of asparagus. Finally you can partake of upper class taste, albeit through lower class means. Eat it.
Start by washing your big ass stalks of asparagus. If you can only find the puny little asparagus spears do not attempt this recipe. It will not work. Get out your food bank bacon and start wrapping. Move from the head to the base and be sure to pull it taut. See above for visual aid, idiot.
Place in a 400 deg oven for 20 minutes. There you have it: heavenly bacon wrapped around tender stalks of asparagus. Finally you can partake of upper class taste, albeit through lower class means. Eat it. 
17 comments:
This looks awesome. Minus the bacon.
Hippie
Animal hater.
Oh I love them...love them on my plate!
Murderer.
I also wear fur
Looks good, minus the asparagus.
You probably also moonlight as a taxidermist.
Also, Derek, you have a typo on your blog in the most inopportune place.
And yes, I know that I'm a huge bitch.
Anything taste good in bacon. I fried shrimp wrapped in bacon tonight now I wish I had aspargus to go with it.
@DB
You uncultured swine.
@twc
Burn!
@WC
Shrimp wrapped in bacon is the bomb.
Animals. Eat them.
mmmm.
I wrapped jalapenos stuffed with cream cheese and breakfast sausage in bacon. Grilled them, drank beer and at the f- out of 'em.
That sounds awesome!
Maybe I could actually get the hubby to eat asparagus? He's so uncultured...
They will probably pass with flying colors.
I suppose I shouldn't have been *that* surprised that your fucking blog popped up on the first Google page for "bacon wrapped asparagus."
I made it. But I didn't have fat ass stalks. So, I bundled three skinny ones per center-cut wrapper. AND! I tossed them in some balsamic first. Don't judge me. It was delicious.
I miss your ugly, shaggy face. Hope you and the fam are settling into your new digs!
Kiss my ass, Beavertronian--
Laura.
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