Sunday, June 21, 2009

Father's Day Breakfast


In a pitiful attempt to make me breakfast for Father's Day, this is the gourmet meal my lady made: a fucking bagel sandwich. She made the bacon, thank God, but the scrambled eggs and potatoes were store bought! Who the fuck buys pre-made scrambled eggs? We even had eggs in the fridge. SO lazy. Also she needed my input the whole time on how to make the bacon so it was like I cooked it anyway. At least she didn't burn the bagel in the toaster oven. In any case, it is the thought that counts and I was very pleased, and surprised, that my breakfast was semi-edible. Plus she bought me three really nice bars of dark chocolate so that really made my day. Happy Father's Day to all you other Dads out there and hopefully you had a better breakfast than me. Try your best to 'eat it.'

21 comments:

Heather said...

F you and your elitist cooking, asshole. You neglected to mention that I, being vegetarian, rarely cook meat and it is only on special occasions that I do. You're welcome. Next Fathers' Day you can starve.

ALN said...

Four words: store bought scrambled eggs. WTF?

I would rather starve than have to eat this again.

Heather said...

Nice try but I think you already used that one in your post. Got any new material?

ALN said...

I am going to have plenty of 'new material' coming out of my ass after eating this breakfast.

Doll said...

I hope you have a comfortable couch!

ALN said...

Yeah...this post did not go over so well. But neither did the breakfast.

Jessica said...

Ha! Ha! You're mouth is way worse than mine! Glad I came across your blog!

Girl said...

I actually think it looks pretty tasty. But then again, it's not a New York bagel.......if it were, it'd have really rocked!

ALN said...

It was truly not that bad but the bagel itself was amazing because Pacific NW bagels, like everything else out here, rock the shit out of the East.

Doll said...

Is humble pie on the dinner menu???

I can't say I care for your w(rong) coast frozen bagels, I've never actually tried one!

Heather said...

Thank you! It was very good and the bagel itself may not have been as good as a New York bagel however it is almost as close as you can get here...Ketterman bagels from New Seasons are the shit!

ALN said...

okay...you can have your bagels and pizza. We will keep our wine, beer, salmon, dungeness crab, clean air and laid back attitudes.

Mr. Condescending said...

And cheap mexican labor!

ALN said...

I think that would apply to both Coasts.

Girl said...

And don't forget your hippie hemp seed coffee shit!

ALN said...

Don't be jealous! I know it is rough living on the East Coast. Been there done that.

Auri said...

My husband got Wendy's for Father's Day dickhead. Consider yourself lucky you fucking asshole=)
Happy Father's Day!

otherworldlyone said...

Store bought scrambled eggs...I didn't even know there was such a thing.

ALN said...

@Auri
Wendys? Seriously? I pity that poor man.

@OWO
Unfortunately they do exist at our neighborhood market. They make them there so they are fresh but by the time you get them home they are soggy and cold.

JonnyHo said...

Haha, Mr. Asshole, saw this post, saw 19 comments, knew the comments would be priceless.

ALN said...

Yeah I walked into a minefield on this one...