Thursday, June 25, 2009

Raspberry Muffins

I know you losers are too fucking lazy and poorly trained to make my pies so I decided to make some easy ass muffins so you too can eat like a king. Although pies are infinitely better, muffins are an acceptable substitute. Now don't fuck these up or else you will end up with all your shit on the front porch. Do not mess with a lady's raspberries. Trust me. Let's begin:
In a large bowl mix 1c cornmeal, 1c flour, 1/2c sugar, 1tsp baking soda, 1tsp baking powder, and 1/4tsp salt. In a smaller bowl whisk 2 eggs, 1c sour cream, and 1 stick of melted butter. Fold wet into dry. Turn in 6oz or more raspberries. When you are spooning these into the muffin tin be sure to equally distribute the raspberries. I can't believe I need to tell you this shit. I mean, this is really, really basic. Damn you are dumb, dumbass.

Bake at 375 deg for 15-20 minutes. Move to a wire rack when cool enough to handle. Get ready for your lovely lady to fall into your waiting arms as she lets out a slight whimper. Eat it.

16 comments:

trainwreckchronicles said...

While I can't eat the muffins, I don't argue with the deliciousness of the raspberries and that you should never mess with a woman's raspberries...

amy said...

Your blog is awesome.

Can I switch blueberries for raspberries just b/c that's all I happen to have?

Thanks for all of your hard work on this blog, even with your potty mouth.

ALN said...

@TWC
You can't eat anything.

@Amy
Thank you. Sure you can use blueberries but I would use a different recipe for sweeter muffins if I were you

Auri said...

I hope TWC is the size of a twig... she better be after eating lettuce all day.

ALN said...

She isn't.

Jeunelle Foster said...

Did somebody say MUFFINS? :)

ALN said...

God I love muffins.

trainwreckchronicles said...

Fuck off ALN, I am too. You're just jealous.

ALN said...

I was waiting to see how long it would take you to find this...

trainwreckchronicles said...

I've been busy having a life.

ALN said...

Beer pong been keeping you busy?

trainwreckchronicles said...

No, your mom.

ALN said...

My mother passed away recently but thanks for bringing it up.

trainwreckchronicles said...

We just discussed this. Doesn't work on me.

ALN said...

you are heartless

trainwreckchronicles said...

So's your mom.