Okay dummy, listen up. These muffins are perfect for the ladies as long as you say the right things. Call them the following buzzwords even if they are not entirely accurate: organic, vegetarian, vegan (only use this one if the chick is a psycho because any normal woman would not be turned on by this word.), free range, fat free, and light. If you are able to cram all these into one sentence you will earn the title of Master. Otherwise, drop them casually into your conversation. For example, "Damn those jeans make your butt look big! Good thing these muffins are fat free." Let's begin:
In a large bowl combine 3c flour, 3tsp cinnamon, 1tsp salt, 1tsp baking soda, and 1tsp baking powder. Set aside. In a smaller bowl whisk together 3 eggs, 2c sugar, 1c vegetable oil, and 2-3tsp vanilla. Pour into flour mixture and combine. Add 2c of grated zucchini and 1c walnuts. There are two things about zucchinis you need to know. First, do not fucking call them a courgette. This is America, not some loser country like France. Second, they retain a lot of water so after you grate them you have to press out all the water into paper towels.
Bake in a 350 deg oven for 20-25 minutes. And there you have it. Twelve tickets to paradise. "I bet these taste gross." Fuck you idiot. They are light, fat free, vegetarian muffins made with zucchini from a free range organic local farm. Eat it.
In a large bowl combine 3c flour, 3tsp cinnamon, 1tsp salt, 1tsp baking soda, and 1tsp baking powder. Set aside. In a smaller bowl whisk together 3 eggs, 2c sugar, 1c vegetable oil, and 2-3tsp vanilla. Pour into flour mixture and combine. Add 2c of grated zucchini and 1c walnuts. There are two things about zucchinis you need to know. First, do not fucking call them a courgette. This is America, not some loser country like France. Second, they retain a lot of water so after you grate them you have to press out all the water into paper towels.
Bake in a 350 deg oven for 20-25 minutes. And there you have it. Twelve tickets to paradise. "I bet these taste gross." Fuck you idiot. They are light, fat free, vegetarian muffins made with zucchini from a free range organic local farm. Eat it.
14 comments:
WOW! I bet you are awesome with the ladies.
So tell me,did they taste gross?
You would be surprised.
They actually taste freaking amazing! I can't even believe they have zucchini in them.
OK,by the way you are being overly nice to me,I can tell you can't be half bad with the ladies. The whole niceness thing doesn't go along very well with your blogging voice though. So feel free to call me an asshole or something along those lines if you want!
I have to admit...
I am scared to try one of your recipes. I figure you fucked with the ingredients to screw us assholes over!!!
Thinkinfyou - Suck my ass
Sanew/odrugs - good idea
Thank you. I feel much better now!
Thinkingfyou: He fucking SUCKS with the ladies. Don't even get me started on his food.
Don't be jealous...and you have never even had any of my food. Nor will you ever get to.
Thank god. I'd rather not die and deprive the word of my awesome existence.
They should make a stupid book out of your idiotic comments
It'd still get a book deal before you ever would.
I really like zucchini bread so I'm thinking the muffins should be tasty.
The goddamn snails ate my zucchini plant so I guess I'll have to buy some at the store to make these... then I'll ruin them by putting cream cheese frosting on them=)
ugh! gross dude.
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