Well I asked my lady to pick up some fish at the store and she comes back with this $16 wild, line-caught salmon steak! Last time I send her out to run my errands. In any case I have this beautiful specimen to work with and if you have learned anything by now, you would know that we are just going to cook it with some salt and pepper and add a nice sauce after the fact. Too bad you are a fucking idiot and you haven't learned jack shit. Let's begin:
Wash and pat dry your salmon. Sprinkle with some salt and freshly ground pepper. Do not use kosher salt,
dumbass. Put it in a 400 deg oven for about 20 minutes. You should really know how to eyeball salmon but since you don't, follow the instructions. Do not overcook. Overcooked salmon has the consistency of canned tuna but since you eat tuna straight out of the can on a daily basis you probably don't care.
While your salmon is in the oven, combine 3
tbl sugar, 3
tbl soy sauce, 3
tbl sesame oil, 2
tbl Chinese rice wine, and one star anise. Bring to a boil and simmer for 5 minutes. Remove from heat and let cool. "I don't have most of these ingredients. Can I just use sugar and soy sauce?" Are you fucking retarded? Fuck no. Don't have the right ingredients? Too fucking bad. Don't make it, jackass.
Spoon your sauce over your cooked fish. Serve with fresh roasted vegetables and potatoes. Or you can serve it with whatever the fuck you want. Knowing you, this will rest on a bed of some shitty pasta or something equally as stupid. Eat it.
Wash and pat dry your salmon. Sprinkle with some salt and freshly ground pepper. Do not use kosher salt, dumbass. Put it in a 400 deg oven for about 20 minutes. You should really know how to eyeball salmon but since you don't, follow the instructions. Do not overcook. Overcooked salmon has the consistency of canned tuna but since you eat tuna straight out of the can on a daily basis you probably don't care.
While your salmon is in the oven, combine 3tbl sugar, 3tbl soy sauce, 3tbl sesame oil, 2tbl Chinese rice wine, and one star anise. Bring to a boil and simmer for 5 minutes. Remove from heat and let cool. "I don't have most of these ingredients. Can I just use sugar and soy sauce?" Are you fucking retarded? Fuck no. Don't have the right ingredients? Too fucking bad. Don't make it, jackass.
Spoon your sauce over your cooked fish. Serve with fresh roasted vegetables and potatoes. Or you can serve it with whatever the fuck you want. Knowing you, this will rest on a bed of some shitty pasta or something equally as stupid. Eat it.
23 comments:
Hey I planned on making wild salmon tonight, now I still will but I'll add your sauce, I have all the ingredients except the Star Anise what the hell is that?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_anise
Finally visited your blog. Good recipes and good (well) humor.
Don't have time to comment on everyone, but they all look great.
Ha. You need a show on the Food Network, in which most of the words are bleeped. I'd watch that.
Dennis,
Thanks. No kidding. I have almost 250 posts!
MT,
Try HBO late night.
Looks great...minus...you know what.
The star anise?
hi! thank you for the message left in BC.
I prefer to come here and check what you are cooking!
I like salmon, actually I like all the seafood. Your salmon steak with those asparagus drizzled with soya gravy would be just perfect for my lunch!
Angie's Recipes
@ALN
Star anise is used very often in Chinese cooking, it tastes different from those anise. You an also find them in Indian stores.
Angie's Recipes
what do you mean by 'those anise'?
The ones I have and use are hard starlike things that smell like licorice.
Can't wait to try this sauce... I usually stay pretty simple with salmon but this looks incredible...
oh, almost forgot... my post is up
http://mistressauri.blogspot.com/2009/06/rogue-blue-cheese-and-bayou.html
Nice! Everyone check out Auri's blog! Her post is actually funny. I had my doubts but...
You're such an ASSHOLE... you had doubts!!
And do you ever cook anymore? Or have you just been feeding the kid beer lately?
I have been on a little cooking hiatus but I have been drinking! I will also be out of town thurs-sun so there will be no cooking during that time period.
Auri, he really doesn't know how to cook, that's why there haven't been any food updates lately. He's run out of recipes to steal and fake.
You still have not sent me anything to post and I am starting to doubt your ability to cook.
No, you're just underestimating my ability to survive on alcohol alone.
No, I am pretty sure you suck at cooking.
I think she survives on piss and vinegar personally...
Yeah! Her nickname in college was the "Golden Shower."
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Let me guess, it was the golden shower comment...
What an Asshole!
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