Today for lunch I bought myself three sausages on the super cheap. A normal loser, like you, would just cook them as is and be satisfied. Not me, however, as I am vastly superior. I was thinking "what would make these better" and the one thing that popped out in my brilliant mind was beer. Beer would make these better. You never would have thought of this in a million years,
dumbass. Let's begin:
Melt a half stick of butter in a skillet and toss in some onion and garlic. Saute until mostly softened. "How much should I use." You really are a piece of work, you know that? Do you want me to hold your fucking hand while you stir the shit around too? I used 1/2 a large onion and about 2 cloves of garlic. Fucking loser. Give up now.
Add some beer and your fatty sausages. Resist all
temptation to play with them in a dirty manner. I can just see you sticking one in your pants and running around the house while sexually threatening your loved ones. You are one sick fuck. Simmer for 10 minutes per side. Oh yeah, you can prick your sausages a few times with a sharp knife to let in the beer.
Mustard up a bun and slide your sausage in there. Be gentle. You don't want the bun to rip. Top with the onions and garlic. Eat it.
Melt a half stick of butter in a skillet and toss in some onion and garlic. Saute until mostly softened. "How much should I use." You really are a piece of work, you know that? Do you want me to hold your fucking hand while you stir the shit around too? I used 1/2 a large onion and about 2 cloves of garlic. Fucking loser. Give up now.
Add some beer and your fatty sausages. Resist all temptation to play with them in a dirty manner. I can just see you sticking one in your pants and running around the house while sexually threatening your loved ones. You are one sick fuck. Simmer for 10 minutes per side. Oh yeah, you can prick your sausages a few times with a sharp knife to let in the beer.
Mustard up a bun and slide your sausage in there. Be gentle. You don't want the bun to rip. Top with the onions and garlic. Eat it. 
23 comments:
Good lord I'm in the mood for some brats, sauerkraut and beer!!
It was SO good! MMmmmMM. Tasty! Oh, I am drinking a beer now too.
Mmmm....sausage
pervert
Of course you're drinking beer... what else do you do? Have you ever changed a diaper?
Oh no you didn't! I am a stay-at-home Dad, amongst other things, so I have changed a million and a half diapers. Don't tell me I have not changed a diaper! I just drink beer while I am doing it.
hell yeah that's the shit right there, great ideas aren't born, they're made by result of genius.
Damn right!
I LOVE your blog! :)
But....is it "cooking for ASSHOLES", or "cooking FOR assholes".
????
Hopefully that question doesn't make me an asshole.
Just found your blog and love it.
@Olga
I never really thought about it but I guess it would be COOKING...for assholes. That question just makes you stupid, not an asshole.
@TPT
Thanks! Be sure to come back for more abuse!
hahaha! I love giving you shit Alex=) It's way to easy! You know that right?
I have that Rogue beer I was telling you about... I'll send you pix of that and those blue cheese chips today after I'm done with my motherly duties...
blue cheese chips sound awesome! Write a little something too if you wish.
Look great...minus the butter, onions and sausage.
are you going to write a vegan recipe for me or what?
Yes. Perhaps today. If you're lucky.
You have to remember that I don't really eat so I have to pro-actively purchase the food, make it, and eat it...those are big steps for me.
So...you are lazy as shit?
WTF? This could kill you.
Damn, Might as well die laughing.
ok... tomorrow morning... there will be a little post on my site all about beer and chips just for you=)
@Dee
My body is a temple. A temple that is full of much worse shit than some sissy beer sausage.
@Auri
Let me know when it goes up!
You know, I had this feeling about you. Being your so obsessed with sausage and asshole that you would be the kind of guy who would be into a sausage fest.
Suck my anus BBBB.
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