Told you, asshole. Eat it.
You suck at cooking. You fuck up rice. You think Cayenne is that fat bitch from around the way and Old Bay is the piece of shit that keeps calling the cops on you and your boys. Stop being such a fucking loser and grow a brain. Cooking is easy as shit. Learn it.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Killer Buffalo Roast
I heard through the grapevine that my local purveyor of meats received a large amount of buffalo and they were just dying to get it off their hands. Not one to shy away from fresh local meats, I pounced. My kill was a 2lb buffalo roast that screamed "slow cook the shit out of me and call me Nancy!" Let's begin:
Start by marinating your roast. Whisk together 1 1/2c olive oil (not extra virgin, you stupid ass), 3 cloves of minced garlic, and some freshly ground black pepper. Slowly whisk in 1/4c red wine so that it emulsifies. Don't be dumb and ask me what that means. Look it up, genius. Place meat in a ziplock back and pour the marinade over. Put in fridge for at least two hours and up to 12 hours.
If you know anything about buffalo, and you don't, you know that it needs to be cooked at a lower temperature than beef and the desired level of "doneness" is med-rare to rare. Medium buffalo sucks serious ass. I slow cooked mine, with the cover on idiot, for about 45 min and it worked out perfectly but your fire will be of a different heat. I work by touch when I am cooking meat which requires a high level of culinary skill that you will never attain. What a shame.
Damn! Would you look at that. That is a roast I can sink my teeth into. "Yeah that looks nice, but what does it look like on the inside? You probably fucked it all up and cooked it medium." Oh ye of little faith. Don't you know everything I make is perfect?
Told you, asshole. Eat it.
Told you, asshole. Eat it.
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24 comments:
I have never eaten buffalo and am wondering what sort of flavor the meat has? Gamey? Is it similar to beef or does it simply have it's own unique flavor?
looks good, but that is not buffalo Mr. Fancy Pants. That is American Bison, and looks mighty tasty. Great Job, this actually tops a bacon dish. See.... given time,I'm learnded good!
Buffalo is indeed tasty stuff...kinda like beef with an attitude. Cooking it to anything more than rare is just plain disrespectful.
=^..^=
I wish we could get some buffalo on the east coast. That ought to be another animal crossed off my eaten list. I bet it would be good ground into burgers with chopped bacon, garlic, and onions mixed in the meat. That's how I do Bambi burgers, it keeps them juicy. Oh, and top that shit with bleu cheese.
@Ami
It is not gamey at all. It is similar to beef but tastes much better.
@TTWG
Same difference. Plus on the package it said "buffalo" so suck it.
@PC
Agreed
@FS
At least you have alligator! Buffalo burgers are very good
http://cookingforassholes.blogspot.com/2009/04/habanero-buffalo-burgers.html
Great recipe, CA! I love buffalo, and find it has a nice sweetness to it. This is the company that distributes Buffalo meat to Whole Foods and they'll ship it to you: http://www.greatrangebison.com/
There's also the website of The Buffalo Guys - they ship, too.
The website of The Buffalo Guys: http://www.thebuffaloguys.com/
Thanks for the references girl!
I had a buffalo steak -- medium rare -- at some high-end restaurant at the company's expense back in '07 and I still remember it. Still a fan of good ol' cow, but this recipe looks fantastic.
Pearl
p.s. Haven't been around much -- laptop dead for three weeks now! -- but will be back up and running at the end of this week...
Hey Pearl!
That sucks about your laptop.
o thanks for the link Girl! I've never tried it. Don't tell Cooking Asshole but I plan to cook it on my GEORGE FOREMAN GRILL(TM)
All the Whole Foods in NYC sell Buffalo meat, Doll. Only losers who live in hick towns have no choice but to order it online!
Who orders meat online?
Always dig a good roast. Haven't had buffalo in about a year. Wish I could get a local producer here. I will have to check into it.
Hopefully you will not have to order it online!
Local purveyor received a large amount of buffalo and was dyin' to get rid of it? Sounds like that shit was probably roadkill and they needed to get rid of the evidence.
uh...it is called hyperbole. Ever heard of it? No? Didn't think so.
Dude, I got a hyperpole back behind my trailer. The kids like to hit a ball that's attached to a rope around it. Psht...like I don't know what a hyperpole is.
hey asshole, awesome recipe. Buffalo is one of the best meats out there and that shit looks good. But you're wrong on emulsification. You add the oil (the fats) slowly to the mix, not the other way around.
Have you ever made a vinaigrette? You probably use ranch dressing from a bottle, sicko.
Whatever dude...I do what I want! Plus it worked out just fine...but thanks for the tip anyway, loser.
I've tried to order it online, but it was 1 of those deals where I was going to have to order a freezer full to get my money's worth. There is a whole foods not too far away, I try to stay out of those hippie stores though, I'm allergic to the patchouli oil they're always throwing on me to get rid of the corporate stink I'm covered in. I guess it's time to man up and take one for the team.
I live two blocks from a hippie store. It is the definition of bittersweet.
sell my restaurant thanks for sharing your recipes on grill
I live 5 miles from a buffalo farm and they sell meat bundles....jealous? Jay
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