These little bad boys are so easy to cook up an untrained monkey on smack could do it. Can you? Didn't think so. While I continue talking to myself since none of you fuckers are listening, I would like to note that just because they are smaller do not be tricked into thinking this will be a quick side dish. Just looking out for you because I know you have
Cutco knives which means you can be fooled into anything, sucker. Let's begin:
Start by trimming as little as possible off the stem. Steam them for 10 minutes and rinse under cold water to cool. Slice lengthwise and toss in some olive oil (NOT extra virgin, genius. Remember, extra virgin is only for non-heated dishes.) and some fresh lemon juice.
Place artichokes directly over the coals but make sure it is not too hot. If you burn your shit up, and you will because you fucking suck at grilling, move them to the outside of the grill to continue cooking. I can't believe I am forced to give "if you fuck up" instructions. You disgust me.
Here is what your finished product should look like and it should take upwards of 45 min. Your baby artichokes are probably a mangled mess: burned to a crisp on the outside and rock hard on the inside. Why do you even bother doing anything when you know you are going to fail? What a cruel existence. Eat it.
Start by trimming as little as possible off the stem. Steam them for 10 minutes and rinse under cold water to cool. Slice lengthwise and toss in some olive oil (NOT extra virgin, genius. Remember, extra virgin is only for non-heated dishes.) and some fresh lemon juice.
Place artichokes directly over the coals but make sure it is not too hot. If you burn your shit up, and you will because you fucking suck at grilling, move them to the outside of the grill to continue cooking. I can't believe I am forced to give "if you fuck up" instructions. You disgust me.
Here is what your finished product should look like and it should take upwards of 45 min. Your baby artichokes are probably a mangled mess: burned to a crisp on the outside and rock hard on the inside. Why do you even bother doing anything when you know you are going to fail? What a cruel existence. Eat it.
10 comments:
Pair them with a herbed mayo or butter-pesto dipping sauce you dip.
That is your job to figure out, genius. I can't tell you how to do everything.
What are you saving meat for the book?
This is the wrong post, but I'm lazy, I made the bacon wrapped fried chicken. Nice, Real Nice. You should sell that shit to Colonel Sanders. Kentucky Grilled Chicken my ass!
Tonight was a vegetarian night which totally blew.
KFC is definitely going the wrong direction. It needs to be tastier, not shittier.
Cutco knives? Puh-leeze...my brain-dead, jackass brother-in-law used to sell those turds. He got all pissy when we refused to buy any from him - he actually believed that chef's knives that you can BEND were good!
=^..^=
If it were anyone else I would call them a liar but not you psychocat!
Hey you, Asshole -
Do you know where I can purchase baby artichokes? I don't live in a cool urban area and the east side suburbs don't typically have room for special items.
I am assuming you are in Portland? I got these at Sauvie Island (would make for a nice day trip from the outer eastside) or you can check for them at your local farmer's markets. If there is a New Seasons all the way out there they might have them when available. Ask the produce manager.
Yes, Portland. Sorry. I forgot to mention that. Thank you for the suggestions!
You are very welcome.
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