You suck at cooking. You fuck up rice. You think Cayenne is that fat bitch from around the way and Old Bay is the piece of shit that keeps calling the cops on you and your boys. Stop being such a fucking loser and grow a brain. Cooking is easy as shit. Learn it.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Baby's First Birthday Cake - Final Attempt First Stage
Well the big party is tomorrow and rather than totally fuck up another cake I decided to chicken out and make a shitload of cupcakes. I am willing to admit I cannot make a nice cake to save my life so fuck it. Not worth my time. Let's begin:
For the vanilla and chocolate cupcakes I used the most basic of all cupcake recipes. All the measurements are a range because I do it all by sight. It it hard enough for me to put it in measurements for your pathetic ass so bear with me. Cream 1 1/2 - 2c sugar with 1 1/2 stick of butter. Add 2-3 eggs, one at a time and then 2tsp vanilla. Blend in 1 1/4 - 1 1/2c milk, 2-3c flour, 2tsp baking powder, and 1/2tsp salt. For the chocolate ones I added a melted 3.5oz bar of dark chocolate. Bake at 350 for 20-25 min. I also made my citrus pound cake muffins but I changed the recipe. I used 3/4c of sugar, 1 1/2 sticks of butter, 2c of flour, and 2tsp baking powder. All in all they turned out awesome but I still have to frost them. Don't eat them yet!
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12 comments:
Don't forget the penicillin chasers!
ok....serious time here.....
That's your problem..."do it all by sight". With bakin' you pretty much have to be exact. All your awesome cookin' is experiments, throwin' shit together and it all (most anyways!) seems to turn out amazin'. You can't do that when your bakin'. EXACT MEASUREMENTS....exact!
Mighty fine lookin cupcakes there!
they look great! for my kid's first bday this weekend i'm only making an apple crisp and a caramel sauce. i can't bake a cake for shit.
@Cuz I Felt Like It - you are exactly right - no wonder he can't make a cake!
A. Kiss my diseased ass Girl
2. CIFLT - you are right...I experimented with the extremes of both and I would suggest going higher in every respect. So everyone take note that the higher range is suggested for this recipe. Unless you don't like vanilla. In which case I don't really give a shit what you think.
C. Thank you Whimsical!
4. Lana that sounds amazing!
E. Fuck you Doll
Ice cream with gummy bears Is something I would be able to make.
Um, yum, citrus pound cake. I know, whatever, I'm a fucking ass kisser. Haters.
I'm a girl that loves cupcakes and actually served them at my wedding last year because hubby like chocolate and I like white cake --- who wants to hear whining on their wedding day from anyone because the bride & groom picked the wrong cake.
Smart move!
Again with the F you! Just what I would expect from a west coast hippie - no imagination!
Imagine this!
CA! That looks lovely! I'm going to make cupcakes soon as well! A happy happy birthday to Amy! Hope she has a wonderful day!
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