Well I have this chicken carcass left over from last night and really the only thing I can do with it is make some stock and then some soup. I am not a huge soup guy but I knew this would make for some incredibly flavorful broth so I just had to roll with it. Too bad your chicken comes from Chicken Express and your wasteful ass just throws the carcass away. For shame. Let's begin:
Put your shit in a big ass pot and cover with water. Bring to a boil, cover, and simmer for 3-4 hours. This may take forever but you can do other things while you are waiting: Write the great American novel, play Parcheesi, call up your wife's sister, etc.
Explain to your child, in no uncertain terms, why she should not mention to mommy that Aunt Crystal was over at the house today.
Now that we are done cooking that shit down, pull out all the large pieces and run the rest through a fine strainer. The last thing you want is pieces of bone in your broth. That would suck some serious ass and probably result in an emergency trip to the dentist.
Saute a bunch of thinly sliced leek and fennel. Only use the white part of the leek and only the bulb of the fennel, stupid. "How long should this take?" Seriously? Why do you always ask me timing questions? Have you not realized that timing for a cook is like a sixth sense? You just know. If you don't, you fucking suck at cooking so give up now.
Dump in a bunch of diced up red potatoes and pour in enough broth to cover them. Simmer until the potatoes are softened. "How long does that take?" Okay now you are just trying to piss me off! "You got me." I knew it, jackass. In batches move to your food processor and puree.
Garnish with a fennel top and serve. Eat it.
Put your shit in a big ass pot and cover with water. Bring to a boil, cover, and simmer for 3-4 hours. This may take forever but you can do other things while you are waiting: Write the great American novel, play Parcheesi, call up your wife's sister, etc.
Explain to your child, in no uncertain terms, why she should not mention to mommy that Aunt Crystal was over at the house today.
Now that we are done cooking that shit down, pull out all the large pieces and run the rest through a fine strainer. The last thing you want is pieces of bone in your broth. That would suck some serious ass and probably result in an emergency trip to the dentist.
Saute a bunch of thinly sliced leek and fennel. Only use the white part of the leek and only the bulb of the fennel, stupid. "How long should this take?" Seriously? Why do you always ask me timing questions? Have you not realized that timing for a cook is like a sixth sense? You just know. If you don't, you fucking suck at cooking so give up now.
Dump in a bunch of diced up red potatoes and pour in enough broth to cover them. Simmer until the potatoes are softened. "How long does that take?" Okay now you are just trying to piss me off! "You got me." I knew it, jackass. In batches move to your food processor and puree.
Garnish with a fennel top and serve. Eat it.
7 comments:
Yum! Cute baby picture too!
Hmm...this looks a lot like a really old recipe I have for Scottish "cock-a-leekie" soup! All it needs is a splash of cream and a bit of crumbled, cooked bacon!
=^..^=
"Have you not realized that timing for a cook is like a sixth sense?"
Brilliant. I will now bow down to your assholiness.
A crumbled bacon garnish would be fantastic!
@Carrie
Bask in the glory!
Ewww.
I think you just dumped out a jar of baby food into that bowl.
I know...I could have garnished it up a little better. But it tastes amazing!
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