Make a pie crust and form it into the pan. Plop down globs of cream cheese all over the bottom. Toss in a shitdickload of crab and top with freshly chopped green onions. Whisk up 7 eggs with some sour cream and a little water. Don't forget to lightly salt that shit. Evenly pour over filling. Bake at 375 for like 50 min or so. The key to knowing when your quiche is at its desired level of doneness is to watch for the poof. The center should poof up at the final moments of baking and that is when you pull that shit from the oven. If the top looks like it is getting burned and you have no poof yet, take a sheet of aluminum foil and lightly cover. Too bad that no matter how detailed I am with you, you will still never even try make it. Fucking loser. Eat it.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Crab, Cream Cheese, and Green Onion Quiche
I love crab. I could only eat crab for the rest of my life and still be happy. I made some super awesome crab cakes the other night so I had about 1/2lb of crab left and, like with all tasty leftovers, I decided to make a quiche out of it. Shit, if I had left over crab cakes they still would have been awesome in a quiche. Since you wish your cooking skills could even be labeled at rudimentary, I don't expect you do make such a culinary delight but at least you can live vicariously through me. Let's begin:
Make a pie crust and form it into the pan. Plop down globs of cream cheese all over the bottom. Toss in a shitdickload of crab and top with freshly chopped green onions. Whisk up 7 eggs with some sour cream and a little water. Don't forget to lightly salt that shit. Evenly pour over filling. Bake at 375 for like 50 min or so. The key to knowing when your quiche is at its desired level of doneness is to watch for the poof. The center should poof up at the final moments of baking and that is when you pull that shit from the oven. If the top looks like it is getting burned and you have no poof yet, take a sheet of aluminum foil and lightly cover. Too bad that no matter how detailed I am with you, you will still never even try make it. Fucking loser. Eat it.
Make a pie crust and form it into the pan. Plop down globs of cream cheese all over the bottom. Toss in a shitdickload of crab and top with freshly chopped green onions. Whisk up 7 eggs with some sour cream and a little water. Don't forget to lightly salt that shit. Evenly pour over filling. Bake at 375 for like 50 min or so. The key to knowing when your quiche is at its desired level of doneness is to watch for the poof. The center should poof up at the final moments of baking and that is when you pull that shit from the oven. If the top looks like it is getting burned and you have no poof yet, take a sheet of aluminum foil and lightly cover. Too bad that no matter how detailed I am with you, you will still never even try make it. Fucking loser. Eat it.
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22 comments:
Hmmm...."shitdickload?" Is that greater than the average penis but smaller than the average dump?
This is probably the only time this lurker will comment, so pay attention:
Your potty mouth cooking snark always makes me smile and laugh; I don't give a shitdickload about the recipes, 'cause I hate to cook, and do so only under duress (duress being my hubbie home from a long day's work).
Okay why the hell do you need water if you use 7 eggs? Isn't that enough liquid?
You got crabs again and had to get rid of them some how hhhmmmm? Ill pass this time.
a splash of water makes the eggs fluffy, stupid
Right...water = steam, and steam = lift. Quiche is such a great "leftover helper". Ever try using layers of phyllo to make a quiche crust? I did, and it made delicious, crispy and flaky crust for my bacon, asparagus and Swiss cheese quiche.
=^..^=
That sounds really fucking good! I have to admit I have never worked with phyllo but I should get on that gravy train.
P.S.- I should add a great big THANK YOU to all of my faithful readers for sticking by me during my time away.I'm sorry I was such a pompous ass- I love all of you bunches!!! BIG HUG !!
Quiche is a cop out and the word quiche isn't appetizing. It reminds me of queef. Plus it's white trash cooking at best. Just make a crab omelet and plop it on toast. Same difference.
That asinine comment left above that looks like it came from me absolutely did not! It is the Doll! She stole my identity! I have reported her to the Blogging Authorities.
make a pie crust make a pie crust make a pie crust dood
Clutch my pearls, is that really CatnipStudio up there? (faints dead away.) LOL.
Anywho, hey asshole, did you see this blog post about you? It is the It’s Not Delivery, It’s “Deliverence” one. Click a link in the paragraph and it comes back to you.
http://upsetwaitress.com/2009/12/12/its-not-deliver-its-deliverence/
PussDaddy
I had to get the big picture before I could make out what the little green things were. Oh, onions. Looks good. may I please have a slice of your quiche?
Saturday Half Hour Meals Event, Festive cakes and Cupcakes. Be thee! :D
very cool, but i think this need Bake at 350 :)
I agree that upset waitress that "quiche" is a shitty word with a bad rep....can we call it "egg pie" or "crustless frittata"?
Looks like steaming cow shit, but I bet it's tasty!
How can I post as you if I am here posting as me? Stop smoking so much pot and maybe you'll remember your own comments!
PussDaddy - how in the H. E. Double Toothpicks do you think I found Cooking Asshole? (hint: you)
I just didn't know you was a fan, Kathy, you stealthy lurker you. lol.
PussDaddy
Again you end with Eat it? Maybe your blogger is broken, just like my google?
What's the next step Asshole?
I believe "Eat It" is what they call a "catch phrase" Cloudcutter. Look it up.
seriously...
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