So I got these cheap ass lobster tails from my local mega-grocer which was sweet because the only other place I could find them was Costco and they are like fucking $17 per tail! Fuck that! These bitches were only $4 a pop so I decided to adulterate the shit out of them and make some lobster rolls. This dish is a staple of the northeast where lobster grows on trees and the traditional form is very basic to allow the full flavor of the lobster to prevail. Since my lobster traveled 3,000 miles before it reached me, I decided to jazz them up and it was worth it. These rolls are so good they will wet your panties and make you squeal for more. Let's begin:
This is what your lobster should look like before you cook it. Take a whiff. If they smell like your nether regions on a bad day, toss them.
Steam your lobster for 5 minutes over sea salted water. This is what your lobster should look like post steaming. These fine specimens are 6oz a piece. If your shit is bigger, steam it for up to 8 minutes. Do not overcook, dumbass. To remove the meat compress them in order to crack the back. Once you have successfully executed this step, the meat is easily removed. It is obviously very similar to removing the meat from
crawfish tails.
Coarsely chop the lobster meat and mix it with the following: Mayo, butter (room temperature),
Old Bay, celery, green onions, cucumber, lemon juice, and hot sauce. The proportions are up to your personal tastes. Again, if you have really nice fresh lobster and you make this recipe, you are a fucking idiot. This is only for run of the mill, cross-country lobster. Otherwise, you should only eat it straight with clarified butter and maybe some
Old Bay. Put your mixture in the fridge to chill. Place a romaine leaf in an oversized french roll and cram in your lobster mixture. Traditionally this is served with chips or fries but I still had some
trailer park pasta salad left so there you have it. Eat it.
This is what your lobster should look like before you cook it. Take a whiff. If they smell like your nether regions on a bad day, toss them.
Steam your lobster for 5 minutes over sea salted water. This is what your lobster should look like post steaming. These fine specimens are 6oz a piece. If your shit is bigger, steam it for up to 8 minutes. Do not overcook, dumbass. To remove the meat compress them in order to crack the back. Once you have successfully executed this step, the meat is easily removed. It is obviously very similar to removing the meat from crawfish tails.
Coarsely chop the lobster meat and mix it with the following: Mayo, butter (room temperature), Old Bay, celery, green onions, cucumber, lemon juice, and hot sauce. The proportions are up to your personal tastes. Again, if you have really nice fresh lobster and you make this recipe, you are a fucking idiot. This is only for run of the mill, cross-country lobster. Otherwise, you should only eat it straight with clarified butter and maybe some Old Bay. Put your mixture in the fridge to chill. Place a romaine leaf in an oversized french roll and cram in your lobster mixture. Traditionally this is served with chips or fries but I still had some trailer park pasta salad left so there you have it. Eat it.
12 comments:
"compress them" ???
"sucessfully completed this step" ???
what big ass fancy words you used. didn't you mean "crack'em and when you'r done". come on, keep it simple!
Rube...
that would be "redneck", get your shit right dude.
Can't stand seafood. I don't eat anything that smells like a girls locker room. Anyway, can you tell us how to properly "toss the salad" ? Everyone does it differently.
any method is acceptable as long as there is a proper reach-around.
^Seriously. You two should go on the road.
The hubs and I honeymooned in Maine. Had never heard of rolls before then, but they sell them in Mickey D's up there. Lobster or crab rolls made from meat right off the boat are like manna from the heavens.
These are soooo good! Only thing I do different is to use a home-made mayo with olive oil and a squeeze of lime juice. I also have to make a salt-free version of Old Bay so that Hubby can have it, but, since the spices are ground fresh for each use, it still has good flavor!
=^..^=
Uh...I only buy the mayo with olive oil already in it. Lime is lame! So is salt-free Old Bay!
I know, but take it up with Hubby's cardiologist! Congestive heart failure is a bitch...
=^..^=
Ouch! I would definitely watch that! Especially since he is "hung like a moose." Sounds like a keeper!
He is at that. And he's house-trained. Plus, the cats seem to like him, so there ya go...
=^..^=
It is really hard to find a good house-trained male nowadays!
Especially one that likes cats.
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