There are a million and a half food carts in downtown Portland and I never really eat at any of them. I happened to discover
Big Ass Sandwiches via
Twitter (I know, I am a fucking loser) and I knew immediately I had to check this place out since I am a sucker for anything with "ass" in the name. I didn't even realize it was a food cart until I got there and all I found on SW 3rd and SW Ash was this:
What the fuck? I can't believe they covered up the "ss" in "ass!" I guess there are little kids walking around but still! In any case, the owners were super fucking nice and very cool. I ordered the special of the week: "
The Pork Hammer." How can you go wrong with a name like that? It consists of ham, bacon, sausage, coleslaw, and fries. For a full list of sandwiches see their
menu.
On my short ride home the emanating odor of delicious pork products filled the car and made me want to pull over and cram the damn thing in my fat face. Even when I got home I started to devour it before I took a picture. To my surprise, and delight, the slaw and fries were on the inside of the sandwich. Hell-fucking-yeah.
Now with a name like "Big Ass Sandwiches," I expected this bad boy to be a little bigger. But you know what? If it was any bigger I wouldn't have been able to finish it. At least not without taking a "Big Ass Shit" first. All-in-all I fucking loved my sandwich and I will definitely be hitting them up for more. Patronize it.
What the fuck? I can't believe they covered up the "ss" in "ass!" I guess there are little kids walking around but still! In any case, the owners were super fucking nice and very cool. I ordered the special of the week: "The Pork Hammer." How can you go wrong with a name like that? It consists of ham, bacon, sausage, coleslaw, and fries. For a full list of sandwiches see their menu.
On my short ride home the emanating odor of delicious pork products filled the car and made me want to pull over and cram the damn thing in my fat face. Even when I got home I started to devour it before I took a picture. To my surprise, and delight, the slaw and fries were on the inside of the sandwich. Hell-fucking-yeah.
Now with a name like "Big Ass Sandwiches," I expected this bad boy to be a little bigger. But you know what? If it was any bigger I wouldn't have been able to finish it. At least not without taking a "Big Ass Shit" first. All-in-all I fucking loved my sandwich and I will definitely be hitting them up for more. Patronize it.
37 comments:
OMG...that looks so good I almost peed my pants. Slaw and fries INSIDE? Ridiculous. I am on the next plane.
It was beyond good. I don't think I am going to need dinner.
I conversed briefly with the owner and they had a couple things to say: a) their landlord made them cover up the "ss" in "ass."
b) They have many more specials in the works so keep your eyes open (I suggest following them on twitter if you happen to live in Portland)
They just released the future t-shirt design for "The Pork Hammer"
http://killorn.com/bigasssandwiches/porkhammer_tee.jpg
I'm assuming that you've run out of ideas and so now you've become a food critic instead of a chef... pity;)
That sandwich does look fucking good though...
Screw you Auri! Try scrolling down a little and see what I have been fucking making! I just decided to start bragging about all the awesome food I eat outside of my home...asshole.
Whaaaat??? Who are you trying to kid - you've made 37 different kinds of quiche and the rest is beer reviews!
And...?
so you HAVE run out of ideas! Quiche is boring. Auri was RIGHT!
ugh! I have only made one quiche so far this year!
Thanks Doll... and for the record asshole... I'm always right. =) And now I'm fucking hungry dammit... come bake me a pie! The mrs. and I will lounge with our feet up whilst you slave away in the kitchen trying to satisfy our sweet 'teeth'...
I was thinking about making cookies...
Hey dude. If Auri's avatar is real, she's hot! I had my ham sandwich with coleslaw and chips. I tried to match this sandwich as best as I could on zero notice. Was excellent.
The wife asked what the fuck I was eating though and what the point of bread was.
Cookies... that'll do asshole, that'll do...
And beer drinker... of course it's real... aren't all women just 50's pinup girls waiting to be noticed? (Bwahahahaha)
And by the way... a sandwich without bread is just a fucking disgrace (damn no carb commie bastards)
That last picture of the sandwich looks like a saggy, overused, old big VAGINA with a variety of delicious choice-cut meat inside it.
The bread is to hold the different varieties of pork together, duh!
That just reminded me of that time I saw a video of Rikki Lake giving birth...
well... the sandwich DID look good.
I will NOT let that ruin it for me!
Make me some quiche, asshole. I'm hungry. But make it not suck like all the other gross, nasty, strangely textured quiches I've tried before.
And you are right, the sandwiches could be bigger, but FUCK they are good. They make me want to drink downtown again just so I can stumble over there on the way to my ca- um...bike.
http://cookingforassholes.blogspot.com/search/label/Quiche
Here are 12 of them. You are probably referring to the Frenchie-Poofter quiches that are a fucking gross ass custard. Mine rock the fucking house. In your egg mixture only use sour cream and a splash of water.
It is still against the law to operate a bicycle while intoxicated!
Check out this awesomeness from my college days.
http://www.seriouseats.com/2007/02/the-hot-truck.html
This thing rolled in around dinner time every day, plugged itself into a telephone pole, and cooked "the bomb" sandwiches until like 2 or 3 am.
BIGGER?!?!?! Really?
That food cart looks bad ass!
Yeah, I mean their name is Big Ass Sandwiches...you are expecting the biggest sandwich you have ever seen, right?
Hey asshole, I'll bet you failed the Reading and Comprehension part of testing in school. I didn't ask you to send me pictures OF quiche. I already saw those because I know how to look shit up on the internet. I told you to MAKE me a fucking quiche.
Let me know when my quiche is ready and I will come over to your house and fucking enjoy the shit out of it with you.
p.s. Make sure there's a lot of meat and none of that green shit.
I will make you a deal, you pushy piece of shit. I regularly bring quiche to my local speakeasy for the bartenders and patrons to enjoy (their food sucks ass). Next time I do that (and the quiche is meaty) I will give you a heads up...but chances are I will send you to the wrong place and you will sit there alone like a pathetic idiot.
I can sit alone and look like a pathetic piece of shit without your help thank you very much. So I have a counter-proposition, you bastard:
Bring your fucking quiche and whatever else you need to feed 12-15 people at a fundraising dinner for p:ear in their founder's fancy-schmancy NW apartment (It's more like a fucking penthouse, honestly).
You say you can cook? Prove it. (and help people at the same time, you selfish asshole.) And no they won't pay you, it's a fucking fundraiser.
And if you need a ride I will pick your lazy ass up in my minivan.
(Serious about this btw. Holla, asshole. trentfinlay@yahoo.com)
Fundraiser?
Non-profit?
Mini-Van?
This is a joke, right?
You'll wish it was a joke.
umm... Trent... go bake me a cake and shove the quiche up your pie hole, love =)
I am sure I will...
I think its funny that facebook let Big Ass Sandwiches have the word Ass in their name, but not yours! haha
Just found your site last week and I love it! Ive been sending friends to your blog since and they love it too!
Gotta tell you though, Im offended that your blog is making me type in ThsHor as my word verification... I think its trying to imply something...
I didn't even think of that! Damn Facebook!
nice this sandwich is a bit heavy but should be aware of genius, this interesting site and hopefully have a chance to try sometime, thanks for the info.
Thanks for your insightful comment
Thanks for your insightful comment
Hey, just so you know the people they rent from are the ones who made them cover up the 'Ass'.
Yeah I know. Lisa and Brian told me after I wrote this way back when. But now Big Fat Wieners is on the lot! What the fuck?
Post a Comment