When I awoke from my dreams of big game hunting dinosaurs in the Amazon this morning, I was like "holy shit! It's almost time for the Cowgirls to lose to the Vikings in a completely embarrassing and shameful way!" I thought about making something real fast but time was of the essence. I ran to my local market that sells VooDoo Doughnuts (just the best doughnuts ever made in the history of the universe. No big deal or anything) and picked me up some sugar bombs for breakfast. If you are going to have multiple doughnuts, the best away to avoid any sort of guilt (especially if you are a total sissy or have been wished a happy birthday by Willard Scott) is to make your first one of the blueberry persuasion. You can trick your brain into thinking you are being healthy while you cram sugar and flour in your ugly fat face. Really what difference does it make what you eat with a face like yours? For my next doughnut I hit up some sprinkle action. You can never go wrong with chocolate paired with artificial crap and the imminent threat of cancer. So it is almost time to sit your fat ass down on the couch and watch America's real pastime: football (and I am not talking about that pansy ass game played with the speckled ball). Oh and if you like the Cowboys, I hate you and everything you stand for. Eat it.
17 comments:
i just quit eating sugar to stay thin. it helps to look at your breakfast. bon appetit, asshole.
I fucking hate your guts that you can just go down to VooDo Doughnuts. Burn in hell asshole.
Btw - Doughnuts or Donuts. Who fucking cares? They are amazing.
Hey. You had the same dream I did. I saw one of the later airings of Avatar in 3D last night.
As for doughnuts, Dunkin's will do.
I know you always put cream and 15 teaspoons of sugar in your coffee like an old woman! You aren't fooling anyone with that picture!
anyone else watch the game?!?
I am like a fucking prophet!!!
did not see the game but i heard about voodoo never had them will have to try one day.
Riiiiight... Futbol is for sissies because they run the entire 90 minutes, don't wear pads, and actually require skill to acrue points...
And your shitty ass doughnuts look like ass. Probably taste like ass... I can't believe you didn't whip up something special if you care so much about the vikings (which I happen to like)...
shame...
hang your head...
apologize to the wifey...
go make some fucking home made doughnuts you asshole...
xoxo
mistress a
So it is more of a sport becuase they prance around in booty shorts while trying to kick a ball....hrmmm
You obviously know absolutely nothing about real football or else you never would haveade yourself look so stupid.
You also have obviously heard of VooDoo Doughnuts. But then again you probably don't hear about much over there in SLC.
Finally, I don't give a shit about the Vikings. I just fucking hate the cowboys.
VooDoo Doughnuts ROCKS! I've only had them once, but the bacon-maple bar was the BOMB!! We do have one really good doughnut place here, but it doesn't have the wild variety that VooDoo has. Ah, well...
=^..^=
Boy you're lazy. I just bought one of your magnets on cafepress by the way. Why the hell isn't it here yet? Have a nice day,
PussDaddy
Really? You are now officially the first person (other than me) to purchase something from my little store! Now I am really glad I didn't mark anything up. I would hate to get that huge $1 check at your expense...and then pay $0.60 in taxes on it.
No one has bought anything because the logo is crap!
Someone did buy something! Read above!
a purchase by a cat does not count!
The Daddy part of me bought it.
PussDaddy
I couldn't get passed the fact that you watch football.....
uh...yeah. I am like crazy hardcore into football. Go Redskins!
I always say the best day of my life was the day my daughter was born...because the Redskins beat the Cowboys.
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