Sunday, January 17, 2010
Coffee and Doughnuts OR How I Learned to Avoid Cooking Breakfast on Playoff Weekend
When I awoke from my dreams of big game hunting dinosaurs in the Amazon this morning, I was like "holy shit! It's almost time for the Cowgirls to lose to the Vikings in a completely embarrassing and shameful way!" I thought about making something real fast but time was of the essence. I ran to my local market that sells VooDoo Doughnuts (just the best doughnuts ever made in the history of the universe. No big deal or anything) and picked me up some sugar bombs for breakfast. If you are going to have multiple doughnuts, the best away to avoid any sort of guilt (especially if you are a total sissy or have been wished a happy birthday by Willard Scott) is to make your first one of the blueberry persuasion. You can trick your brain into thinking you are being healthy while you cram sugar and flour in your ugly fat face. Really what difference does it make what you eat with a face like yours? For my next doughnut I hit up some sprinkle action. You can never go wrong with chocolate paired with artificial crap and the imminent threat of cancer. So it is almost time to sit your fat ass down on the couch and watch America's real pastime: football (and I am not talking about that pansy ass game played with the speckled ball). Oh and if you like the Cowboys, I hate you and everything you stand for. Eat it.