When I just did the search to figure out what number moon pizza post this was going to be, I looked back on my first ones and man were they fucking ugly as hell (although
IV looked pretty damn good). Why didn't you assholes burn the shit out of me for making something that looked like that? You people disappoint me more and more everyday. Let's begin:
Make your
pizza dough and divide it in half. Make it look all flat and shit as seen above. Put some mozzarella on the bottom, then some pepperoni, then black olives, then red onions, then more pepperoni, and finally more mozzarella (I took this picture before I added the last cheese layer, duh). Layering is very important so heed my instructions and maybe actually try to learn something from them (i.e. ask yourself why I layer things in such specific order, dumbass).
Fold that shit over and crimp the edges to seal that bad boy up.
Now flip the whole fucking thing so the seams are on the bottom. This move takes a little finesse so watch yourself. I didn't do it here, and I am not too sure why, but I should have put a nice crimp along the edge like I did in
IV. What I forgot to do in
IV, however, was cut some vent holes.
Bake it on the bottom rack in a 500 deg oven for about 13 min. Serve with some warm
pizza sauce. Eat it.
Make your pizza dough and divide it in half. Make it look all flat and shit as seen above. Put some mozzarella on the bottom, then some pepperoni, then black olives, then red onions, then more pepperoni, and finally more mozzarella (I took this picture before I added the last cheese layer, duh). Layering is very important so heed my instructions and maybe actually try to learn something from them (i.e. ask yourself why I layer things in such specific order, dumbass). 
Fold that shit over and crimp the edges to seal that bad boy up.
Now flip the whole fucking thing so the seams are on the bottom. This move takes a little finesse so watch yourself. I didn't do it here, and I am not too sure why, but I should have put a nice crimp along the edge like I did in IV. What I forgot to do in IV, however, was cut some vent holes. 
Bake it on the bottom rack in a 500 deg oven for about 13 min. Serve with some warm pizza sauce. Eat it.
11 comments:
Dude! That's a "calzone."
Can you say it? I think you can!
Cal-zoooon-eh!
Looks damn good, though.
I might be half-a-retard but do I spy a pizza stone, Oh Baker of "Moon Pizzas"?
What the hell is a calzone?
Yup, that is my super awesome pizza stone!
That looks great I think I will try something like that next weekend in my WFO.
A calzone is a pizza that is folded in half and looks like a half moon.
Good stuff.
And your pizza stone looks just like my super awesome pizza stone that I bought 10 years ago at Walmart for like, $10 or something. But, mine has a much better patina.
Any asshole who doesn't know what the fuck a calzone is doesn't deserve to be making one.
Perhaps you can take some comfort in knowing that wikipdedia provides one of the literal translations as "drooping sack"?
Which is what some of your first ones look like...
I would hope your pizza stone does have better patina. I have only had mine for a year. If it was ten years old I would have had to purchase it my senior year in high school. You must be really old.
My question to you is, if you know so much about calzones why did it necessitate a trip to wikipedia? Methinks you had no fucking clue.
Those pizza stones are great for heating up leftover pizza and calzones with no wet mushy stuff like microwave heating.
my crusts are so amazing that I just warm mine up on the rack in the toaster oven
Dude. I wrote the wikipedia entry.
no wonder it sucks so bad...
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