So I have been lagging in the cooking department but I have some shit up my sleeve for this evening that will blow your puny minds. In the meantime, I would like to share my trip to
Pix Patisserie. They have a few locations but I went to the one in North Portland, duh. They were one of the first gentrifiers on the street and now it has exploded into a full on hostile hipster takeover. Take note of the glass garage doors. They are always a tell tale sign. Let's check it out:
Pix Patisserie shares a building with the 5th Quadrant. Pix has a chocolate factory and the 5th Quadrant has a brewery. Fuck yeah. Notice all the hippie bike parking. This street is a major corridor for bike commuters. "Bike commuters? What the fuck?" I know, right. Even though it rains 95% of the year in Portland, some people (idiots) choose to ride their bikes to work rather than drive a damn car. These people are easy to spot because one pant leg is always rolled up and they are perpetually sipping on the white liberal guilt kool aid. All I know is I can't fucking park my car right in front which is a total bitch.
On the inside this place screams class. It is really small but they have designed the place to flow very well. They have all sorts of specialty liquors, including various absinthe labels, and coffee/espresso. The purpose of these libations is to compliment what you choose from the cases.
The first case has all sorts of sweet ass chocolates and little gift boxes. At one point they had the Peanut Butter Bacon Truffle and I think they also had a Bacon Blue Cheese Truffle. Point being, they are quite experimental. They also need to be refrigerated so don't buy a box and fucking ship it to the East Coast, dumbass.
This is the money case. This shit is off the hook. The top row displays
their talents. They also have salami plates and stuff in this one.
I decided on a Royal and a
Rogue Chocolate Stout. The Royal is "chocolate mousse blanket[ed] [in] a crisp hazelnut praline filling and dacquoise base. Grab your paper Burger King tiara and indulge yourself!" You can also order the Royal with Cheese and it will be presented to you with a side of creamy French Brillat Savarin. This place is not cheap but it is worth every penny. Now, time to head over to that brewery. Patronize it.
Pix Patisserie shares a building with the 5th Quadrant. Pix has a chocolate factory and the 5th Quadrant has a brewery. Fuck yeah. Notice all the hippie bike parking. This street is a major corridor for bike commuters. "Bike commuters? What the fuck?" I know, right. Even though it rains 95% of the year in Portland, some people (idiots) choose to ride their bikes to work rather than drive a damn car. These people are easy to spot because one pant leg is always rolled up and they are perpetually sipping on the white liberal guilt kool aid. All I know is I can't fucking park my car right in front which is a total bitch.
On the inside this place screams class. It is really small but they have designed the place to flow very well. They have all sorts of specialty liquors, including various absinthe labels, and coffee/espresso. The purpose of these libations is to compliment what you choose from the cases.
The first case has all sorts of sweet ass chocolates and little gift boxes. At one point they had the Peanut Butter Bacon Truffle and I think they also had a Bacon Blue Cheese Truffle. Point being, they are quite experimental. They also need to be refrigerated so don't buy a box and fucking ship it to the East Coast, dumbass.
This is the money case. This shit is off the hook. The top row displays their talents. They also have salami plates and stuff in this one.
I decided on a Royal and a Rogue Chocolate Stout. The Royal is "chocolate mousse blanket[ed] [in] a crisp hazelnut praline filling and dacquoise base. Grab your paper Burger King tiara and indulge yourself!" You can also order the Royal with Cheese and it will be presented to you with a side of creamy French Brillat Savarin. This place is not cheap but it is worth every penny. Now, time to head over to that brewery. Patronize it.
10 comments:
Holy Shit. My flight will be arriving at 9:17 p.m.--pick my up at the airport?
and my flight will be arriving at 9:21 right after bunny so pick my ass up and let's go... chocolate and alchi... what more could I ask for? Well... I could think of one other thing, but for the sake of your viewers... I'll keep it clean...
Damn... I'm seriously jealous
We have Rogue Chocolate Stout in Florida, so pick those two bitches up and show them a good time. We have pastry chefs too.
You mentioned the glass garage door, which I've only ever heard of on this site, prob an age thing though.
But what gangsters are putting up the graffiti murals right next to this place?
Love this place. I went to the one on Division once & they didn't have a liquor license. No clue if it changed but not worth it for me to go check. We just go to this one that is decorated with monkeys!
that dessert thing looks like it could come alive and eat your fucking face off. shit.
why do you have two forks? are you so strong that you plan on breaking one so you asked for another?
Once I stop laughing at your blog title, I'm definitely going to check out some of your recepies...or whatever the hell you have on here. After all, I AM an asshole. New reader (and foodie) here! *Wave*
Two forks are for eating with both hands at the same time.
I had a chocolate orgasm once....it was messy
fuck both of you! I hear there are plenty of towncars/limos at the airport but you will probably take a taxi, loser. Let me guess, you flew coach? I pity you.
that "graffiti" is actually some hippie non-profit I think. I don't pay attention to that white liberal guilt bullshit.
This is the one decorated by monkeys! I hear they hold classes at the location on Division
Okay, they gave me two forks because I was with my daughter. But like I would give her any!
Wave back.
Do you have video evidence?
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