Cilantro Arvena

I was going to make a remoulade or chimichurri since you stupid hipsters love fancy names and ethnic cultured shit, but I wanted to substitute cilantro for parsley because parsley sucks ass. I realized I would have to change basically everything to accomplish what I wanted so this is neither a remoulade nor a chimichurri. It is better than that crap and it is from an obscure country you have never heard of. Get out your food processor and toss in 3/4 bunch of cilantro (or the whole fucking thing), the juice from two limes, 2 minced cloves of garlic, 1/2-1 diced jalapeno, 1tsp cumin, 1/4-1/2 diced red onion (I can't remember but whatever), a splash of white vinegar, and some salt. Turn it up. Scrape regularly (with the blade off). When your shit is good and fucked up, pour in 1/4c vegetable oil while the blade is running. You can probably use extra virgin olive oil but I didn't have any in the house. "Nice picture. That looks like what came out of my ass when I did that 'flush' last year." For some reason I don't doubt that in the least. Eat it.