West

Hey losers. I have not made anything in a few days so I figured I would satisfy your intense need to hear from me by telling you about my awesome trip to the coast today. "I don't give a shit about your stupid trip!" Too fucking bad. You are going to read it and you are going to like it. Let's begin:
We loaded up with McDoubles and took off down the road at the crack of noon. The drive out there is pretty damn nice. First you have to pass all the stupid crappy farms that stink but a short while later you hit the coastal range mountains. They are not particularly dramatic but provide good scenery nonetheless. Once you hit the mountains you have to crack a road beer and fire up a doobie. It's the law in Oregon. Cooterville City Hall is situated in the middle of nowhere in the woods. No, I did not stop.

Here is a view from the top of the coastal range. This has to be one of the crappiest viewpoints in the whole state. I was pissed off I stopped the car for this.

The coastal mountains lead right up to the shore. From the jagged bluffs along the Oregon coast one would think Japan broke off yesterday. This is Indian Beach in Ecola State Park and it is one of the closest to Portland but it doesn't suck ass like Seaside. My other favorite beaches are Oswald, Beverly, and Sand Lake (it's not actually a lake). The best thing about Oregon state parks? You can start fires and booze it up (but no kegs). If you did that shit on the east coast after two minutes there would be five military helicopters carpet bombing your ass.

Of course it is raining on the coast in fucking August. In this state park there are many trails but there is a badass loop on the north side which starts by ascending the bluff seen in this picture. Hiking up there is pretty awesome but if you don't leash your dog it will slip, fall, and die 200 feet down. Seriously, there are signs.

This is just a cool artsy-fartsy picture my lady took by accident.

I found this on Indian Beach. It looks like an arrowhead to me but it is probably just some stupid rock. Just to be sure I put it in my pocket and took it home so a dumbass museum wouldn't take it.

Yup, this is the best picture we got on the carousel in Seaside. This town sucks but we decided to check it out for all the boring kid shit. We went to what looked like the best seafood place in town for dinner but it was terrible. What the fuck is up with the lack of quality restaurants on the Oregon Coast? The only places worth a shit are the live seafood joints (the best one is just north of Garibaldi) but then you got to take it home and cook it. I have only been to one nice restaurant on the Coast: The Bay House. That place is the bomb. Everything else is garbage. If you know of any good places, please tell me. I am dying to know. Visit it.