Behold the motherfucking Bacon Maple Pumpkin Pie and bask in its glory! Start by cooking 3/4lb of bacon. This may seem excessive to the common neanderthal like yourself but any less would be an abomination to the evolutionary process. Let it cool and dice the living shit out of it. Make a sweet pie crust. Use your family's secret pumpkin pie filling recipe and add 1/3c maple syrup. If your family refuses to pass down their pumpkin pie recipe to you due to that one fateful Thanksgiving when you got shitbrickhouse and dry humped the turkey on the dining room table, try this one or this one. Layer the bottom of your crust with diced bacon. Slowly pour in your filling and place it in a 375 degree oven for 55 minutes. Start checking it around 40 minutes to see if you need to put a tin foil tent over it so the crust does not burn. Do not let the tin foil touch the filling or you will fuck it all up, again. There may be some liquid at the top of the pie towards the end but this is just bacon fat and it will coagulate. To avoid this press the shit out of the bacon crumbles with paper towels before place them on the bottom of the pie. The second you take the pie out of the oven, give it a nice bacon ring as seen above. Let it cool completely. Eat it.
12 comments:
This? You make us wait a month. . . For this?
How did you get my Grandmother's idea for a pumpkin maple pie? She used a little less bacon, but she used to make this shit for breakfast at least twice a month.
Dude. Come on. It' is, indeed, delicious, but I expected better from you. Oh, and use bacon grease to make the pie crust. Smokey bacon works even better, either hickory or maple smoked.
Well, at least it isn't a clunker like that damned sag paneer.
ugh...
How on earth did you find out about the turkey event? LOL
Oh, I was just recounting a personal experience...
if only there was some way that the universe -wasn't- coercing me into having an all-bacon thanksgiving.
"oh, i can't do that universe, what would i do for a traditional dessert? the pilgrims never ate chocolate covered bacon on a stick!"
BAM. dammit.
If you do that I want pictures!
How much is it gonna cost me for you to make me one of these and overnight it to me?
a million dollars
i just made this. i'd send you a picture, but unfortunately the only appropriate title for that picture would be "what a maple bacon pumpkin pie looks like when someone nudges the temperature knob on the oven to four-hundred-something degrees".
it was my first pumpkin pie from scratch, too. like... i roasted a fucking pumpkin. at least i didn't cry.
So you fucked it up? Big surprise.
That's okay though. The first scratch pumpkin pie I ever made had a topping that needed to be broiled. I had never broiled anything before so I closed the oven door and left it under the broiler for five minutes. It was fucked beyond belief. Now I know to leave the door open and watch it the whole time. Life is about lessons.
Well I once heard about this moron who tried to make an amazing pumpkin pie without adding any sugar...it would probably be a good idea for him to read this blog, fuckin idiot could use some help...
What a dumbass!
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