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Tis the season for slow roasted beefy goodness atop a tender layer of root vegetables. This is the quintessential American winter dish and if you don't like it then go back to Russia and take your denim suits with you. Some people, stupid ones, attempt this hearty meal in a
crockpot which is tantamount to urinating on the American flag while singing Justin
Bieber songs. Don't fucking do it. Let's begin:
I don't like all those fancy pants weird ass hipster root vegetables so I just used four red potatoes, three carrots, and two yellow onions like a true patriot. Chop them into chunks and toss with a little vegetable oil and sea salt. Place them in a large shallow casserole dish, loosely cover with tin foil, and roast at 425 degrees for 45 minutes. Every twenty minutes or so pull them out and toss them with a spatula so they cook evenly and don't stick to your shit.
Yeah, this is the best picture I got. Appetizing, huh? In a small bowl mix 1/2c
dijon mustard, 2
tbl prepared horseradish, 1
tbl red wine vinegar, 4 minced cloves of garlic, 1tsp black pepper, 1tsp oregano, 1tsp coriander, 1/2tsp thyme, and 1/2tsp sea salt. Smother your 2lb top round beef roast like a Mexican hooker and let it sit on the counter for 20 minutes. Heat up a little vegetable oil in a saucepan over medium to medium-high heat and sear that bitch for about 30 seconds on each side. You want to cook the sauce into the meat and give it a nice color.
Lightly place your seared roast on top of the root vegetables, place the dish back in the oven uncovered, and immediately drop the temperature to 250 degrees. Let it cook untouched for an hour and twenty minutes, turn off the oven, and let it sit in there for another half hour.
And there you have it, an easy as shit taste of the season. Now you are all ready for the Home Alone marathon while curled up on the couch in your leopard print
snuggie, loser. Eat it.
I don't like all those fancy pants weird ass hipster root vegetables so I just used four red potatoes, three carrots, and two yellow onions like a true patriot. Chop them into chunks and toss with a little vegetable oil and sea salt. Place them in a large shallow casserole dish, loosely cover with tin foil, and roast at 425 degrees for 45 minutes. Every twenty minutes or so pull them out and toss them with a spatula so they cook evenly and don't stick to your shit.
Yeah, this is the best picture I got. Appetizing, huh? In a small bowl mix 1/2c dijon mustard, 2tbl prepared horseradish, 1tbl red wine vinegar, 4 minced cloves of garlic, 1tsp black pepper, 1tsp oregano, 1tsp coriander, 1/2tsp thyme, and 1/2tsp sea salt. Smother your 2lb top round beef roast like a Mexican hooker and let it sit on the counter for 20 minutes. Heat up a little vegetable oil in a saucepan over medium to medium-high heat and sear that bitch for about 30 seconds on each side. You want to cook the sauce into the meat and give it a nice color.
Lightly place your seared roast on top of the root vegetables, place the dish back in the oven uncovered, and immediately drop the temperature to 250 degrees. Let it cook untouched for an hour and twenty minutes, turn off the oven, and let it sit in there for another half hour.
And there you have it, an easy as shit taste of the season. Now you are all ready for the Home Alone marathon while curled up on the couch in your leopard print snuggie, loser. Eat it.
8 comments:
A leopard print snuggie sounds like a beautiful thing.
I have three of them
Teah...you go right ahead with the snuggies, I'll just use my heavy wool cloak with the flannel lining.
True, though, that a roast is best done in the oven. You just don't get that delicious caramelization from a crock pot. I do love the crock pot - many other wonderful uses - just not for roasts.
=^..^=
What on earth do you use a crockpot for?
It is impossible to explain in words how fucking happy the opening paragraph of this post made me.
Asshole, the crockpot is just fine for soups, stews, chili, shredded beef for tacos and shit like that. I even use it to simmer marinara and other sauces that take a long time to cook. When you work long, crazy hours, it's a handy thing!
=^..^=
You son of a bitch. Crockpot's are for bringing out the flavor of the meat into the root vegetables. Which your baby shit mustard paste manages to ruin. Way to go, shitdick.
Haha! Thanks for the laughs CC. That made my day.
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