Beefy Barf Stew

1lb Beefy Stew Meat
2 Yellow Onions, diced
3 Carrots, peeled and chopped
4 Celery Stalks, chopped
3 Garlic Cloves, minced
1tsp Dried Oregano
1tsp Dried Basil
1 14.5oz Can of Chopped Tomatoes
2c Dried Lentils
8c Water or Beef Broth or a Mix of Both
Salt & Pepper


Although this beefy barf stew looks like the end result of Christmas party tequila guzzling, it is actually the shit. Wait, I phrased that wrong; it's the projectile vomit. Since it takes little to no skill to make you will not even need to brush the thick layer of dust off your thinking-cap so leave that court-ordered helmet on your scarred misshapen head and let's begin.

Salt and pepper the stew meat, toss it in the largest pot you have, and brown it completely over medium heat. Remove the meat from the pot and saute the next six ingredients in the delicious meat juice until softened. Add the next three ingredients and bring it to a boil over medium to medium-high heat. Reduce the heat and let it simmer uncovered for an hour and twenty three minutes while stirring occasionally. Remove from heat and stir in a shitload of salt and pepper so it actually has some flavor.

Some people, idiots, swear by adding red or white vinegar to their bowl of lentil stew. These sissies need to grow a pair and throw in some Tabasco. The mellow heat and hint of vinegar are far superior to that plain jane bullshit. Close your eyes and eat it.