Bacon, lots
Eggs, beaten
Shrimp, cooked and smothered with Old Bay
King Crab
Jalapeno, minced
Cream Cheese, separated into little globs
Red Onion, diced
Mayo
Shitty White Buns
Ever since I created the Crabacon Series I was convinced it was the pinnacle of food evolution but I have proven myself wrong. That's the beautiful thing about evolution, it just keeps getting more badass and I'm the motherfucking orchestrator of its Intelligent Design. So without further adieu, I present the Crimpacon.
Cook up an assload of bacon and remove it from the pan. Pour your beaten eggs into the bacon grease and add the shrimp, crab, jalapeno, cream cheese, and some crumbled bacon. Scramble that shit up until the eggs are fully cooked and not a second longer. Once the mixture cools down a little bit, mix in the red onion. Cream up a shitty white bun, slam in your junk, and then put your mouth all over it.
While I am tempted to say it can't get any better than this, I will end up creating something even better and that frightens me. Not even I know what the future holds but you better believe I'm going to milk the Crimpacon for all it is worth. Eat it.
12 comments:
Wow. That thing is totally awesome. Good job.
Any recipe that has "bacon lots" as an ingredient deserves a special award.
I don't fuck around.
plus, nothing burps better than bacon. Awesome sandwich man.
A couple people brought this up to me so I figured I would clarify. As I have previously mentioned, I leave the tails on shrimp because I like to eat them.
This sounds like quite the breakfast treat... The trouble may be surviving it, but if that is accomplished I'm sure you'd be back for a second one.
Seems tasty but also kind of a slider. I'd take that bun away and use some kind of thick and hearty bread that's been fried in butter on both sides to give it some more coherence. Like all things, this can be made better by frying that shit in butter.
I'm hungover, can someone please email me one of these now?
Am I allowed to use non-shitty buns?
You eat the tails off the shrimp? What kind of sick bastard are you?? Sandwich looks tits by the way.
looks awesome!
Here we go! This looks good! But you fucked up again, asshole. Shitty white buns is right.
Hey Froggie, have you ever heard of FRENCH BREAD?
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