5 Strips of Bacon
1 Yellow Onion, diced
3 Garlic Cloves, minced
1 Jalapeno, minced
1c Rice
1/2tsp Paprika
1/2tsp Old Bay
1 3/4c Water
Chesapeake Sausage, sliced and cooked
Shrimp, cooked with Old Bay
You already blew the family's welfare check on spinner hubcaps for your ramshackle Chevy Caprice but you got lucky and scored big rolling dice on the corner. Time to eat like ghetto royalty. This dish combines all the finest Mid-Atlantic housing project delicacies atop a bed of spicy bacon rice. So grab an OE, roll up a fatty grape flavored blunt, and let's do this shit.
Cook the bacon and remove it from the pan. Saute the onion in the bacon grease until softened. Add the next five ingredients and let it cooked until the rice is browned. Should take about five minutes. Pour in the water, cover, reduce the heat, and simmer until the water has been completely absorbed. Tear up the bacon and toss it into the rice. Top your spicy bacon rice with the catfish, sausage, and shrimp.
This meal is so ghetto fabulous I promise you will still be making it even if you do get up out the projects one day. Too bad we both know that record deal ain't happening but at least I hear you are up for a promotion to head cashier at McDonald's. Eat it.
6 comments:
just awesome.......how you make me laugh!
sounds great :) Jags are going to kick the Redskins collective asses this week :) j/k
Hey asshole. Or is it "Mr".A ? In reference to the pizza dough comment I made on my blog, P. 31 of my NY Times Cookbook (1961) spells that Russian shit-PIROZHKI. I can't do a link, since the cookbook came out before computers were invented, besides, you're right. I am a dumbass.
I'll post the complete recipe on my blog.
Damn dawg where the bacon stuffed chitlins at yo?
This is the most hilarious blog! Love it!
I gotta say as I go down your blog page back into the past, the recipes get better. Up at the top are a bunch of shit recipes.
This recipe looks good. I should say the photo does. I wouldn't bother going through all the fucking around making it though. I'd much rather put 40 pizza rolls in the oven for 20 minutes and break out a 12 pack of MGD. (And not that lite piss water, either.)
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