1 Packet Active Dry Yeast
1/2tsp Sugar
1/4c Hot Water
1c Whole Milk
1 Egg, beaten
1/2tsp Salt
3 1/2c Flour
This shit is money, yo. Bitches be workin' it day 'n' night at the corner store. Those trick-ass hoes know if they don't got my dough when I come around, they be takin' a one way trip to the bakery. Gots to get it.
Dissolve the yeast and sugar in the hot water in a big ass bowl for about 15 minutes. Add the milk, egg, and salt and mix that shit up. Stir in the flour one cup at a time. After about two cups you will need to start using your hands. Smack that triflin' bitch around, cover with plastic wrap, and throw it in the trunk of your Brougham until you can properly dispose of it. It usually takes a little over an hour to get to the housing development under construction outside the city. By that time it should be all bloated and about double the size.
Toss out your dough, spread out your sauce, strategically place your toppings, and finish it off with cheese. Bake it on a pizza stone in the lower half of a 500 degree oven for around 13 minutes. Eat it, you jive turkey.
8 comments:
Finally.. something useful
I'll have to try this out in my mack daddy wood fired oven that some poor migrant worker is going to build for me this spring.
Bet that shit up homey! All my hoes love dough.
I can use more of this in my life.
Cheese goes on before the toppings. Promise.
The water temp you should put the yeast into is around 110 degrees f. This is the right temp for what they call "proofing the yeast". And you only need about 10 minutes or until it gets cloudy and disolves.
No way! Cheese after toppings!
I don't really time it. I just walk away, show up later, and it's done. I also just use the hot water from the faucet and I have not run into any problems.
What the fuck! Here you go doing stuff you don't need to .... again.
Asshole .... pizzas come out of the freezer with crusts ALREADY ON THEM. Daaaah.
I say sauce, toppings (mushroom, black olive, onion, green pepper), cheese, pepperoni then just a little more cheese. I like it when my pepperoni gets all crispy and my cheese starts to bubble, so they both have to be on top!
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