I have been moving and shit so I have not been able to update this stupid fucking website. I have made a whole bunch of junk recently, including a scotch egg, but I have been unable to post any of it. Give me a few days to get my interwebs service transferred and then I will indulge all of you in my culinary endeavors and epic writing skillz. Until then, go fuck yourself.
Sincerely,
Cooking Asshole
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Buffalo Bolognese
I don't even know how to pronounce this shit, let alone make it, but I had a hankering for bolognese after Lisa and Brian from Big Ass Sandwiches made it for their p:ear benefit dinner. They rocked the house with that shit. The eggplant tort (fancy name for eggplant parmesan) was out of this world but I have never dealt with eggplant so I attempted to replicate the bolognese instead. Even though this dish is traditionally prepared with beef, pork, or a mixture of the two, I chose buffalo because I had it on hand. This required a little more touch as buffalo is very lean and does not lend well to overcooking. Let's begin:
In a large pot melt 3tbl butter with 2tbl olive oil. Toss in one diced onion and three diced small ribs of celery. Saute that shit for a few minutes (don't over do it, dumbass) and add 1lb of ground buffalo. Lightly brown it for about a minute (keep most of that shit red) and salt and pepper that bitch. Pour in 1c of milk and simmer it down for about 15 minutes. The crappy picture above was taken right after I poured in the milk. Next, pour in 1c of champagne, but a rube like you can use Yellow Tail chardonnay, and let it cook down for another 15 minutes.
I took this fucking picture since some of you losers were insinuating that my glass of wine in a previous post was water. Fuck you, assholes. "Why do all the pictures from your recent posts suck ass?" Admittedly my camera memory card ran out and I am fucking tired of deleting shit off it to take a new picture and I have been too lazy to purchase a new one. All of these are off my phone. Since I don't give a shit you are the only one that suffers and that is okay by me.
Once your wine cooks down, toss in some diced tomatoes. I used a 16oz can. Whatever. Lightly simmer for at least 1.5 hours. I did mine for a little over two. Toss with your favorite pasta. Luckily this tasted very similar to what Brian made so at least I know I didn't totally fuck it up. Eat it.
In a large pot melt 3tbl butter with 2tbl olive oil. Toss in one diced onion and three diced small ribs of celery. Saute that shit for a few minutes (don't over do it, dumbass) and add 1lb of ground buffalo. Lightly brown it for about a minute (keep most of that shit red) and salt and pepper that bitch. Pour in 1c of milk and simmer it down for about 15 minutes. The crappy picture above was taken right after I poured in the milk. Next, pour in 1c of champagne, but a rube like you can use Yellow Tail chardonnay, and let it cook down for another 15 minutes.
I took this fucking picture since some of you losers were insinuating that my glass of wine in a previous post was water. Fuck you, assholes. "Why do all the pictures from your recent posts suck ass?" Admittedly my camera memory card ran out and I am fucking tired of deleting shit off it to take a new picture and I have been too lazy to purchase a new one. All of these are off my phone. Since I don't give a shit you are the only one that suffers and that is okay by me.
Once your wine cooks down, toss in some diced tomatoes. I used a 16oz can. Whatever. Lightly simmer for at least 1.5 hours. I did mine for a little over two. Toss with your favorite pasta. Luckily this tasted very similar to what Brian made so at least I know I didn't totally fuck it up. Eat it.
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