Later in the day I decided to check out his recipes and it turns out that all he did was take traditional sandwiches and put them on a stupid fucking Ritz cracker. This guy is a true pioneer. Cheesesteak, meatballs, pork, and chicken on a crappy little cracker. Thanks for letting us in on your culinary genius, dude. How fucking stupid do you think we are? He has as much respect for his viewers as the people who advertise during Maury. None. So it got me thinking, maybe I could work something out with Cheez-It so I would never have to use my brain ever again, just like Guy Fieri. I bring to you the innovative and ground breaking new series: Cheezy Asshole Sandwiches.
The Cheezy Turkey
The Cheezy BLT
The Cheezy Meatloaf
The Cheezy Breakfast
And finally, the Cheezy Hot Dog
So what do you say Cheez-It? This is the wave of the goddamn future. Let's do this shit and make millions. Eat it.
The Cheezy Breakfast
And finally, the Cheezy Hot Dog
So what do you say Cheez-It? This is the wave of the goddamn future. Let's do this shit and make millions. Eat it.
26 comments:
Brilliant! Simply brilliant! (Don't listen to me though, I'm pregnant, anything on a Cheez-It looks like culinary genius to me at the moment!)
Cheez-It is awesome, but the question for me is always the plural of the cracker. Cheez-Its or Cheez-It Crackers. I'm pretty confused on Sam Adamseseseses now.
Guy Fieri probably knows the difference between an isle and an AISLE!
I know. I'm basically the best.
It's Cheez-its
What on earth are you talking about, isle? You must have a serious mental illness.
I have a screenshot.
Screenshot of what?
For some reason now I want a Cheez it sammich
That cheez it hot dog is amazing!
Oohh...mind-blower...just had some carnitas on giant Cheez-Its. Bite the fattest part of my ass, you bleach-blond, spiky-haired, streaky-goateed, tattooed trailer-park pinup! (If I was a man, I'd tell him to choke on Diners, Drive-Ins and DEESE NUTZ!)
=^..^=
nice wiener!
or filet mignon on a cheez-it for when you want to make it fancy.
I am very proud of that hot dog.
That's money right there!
I love the hotdog on a cracker... Classic.
Fuck, you were right. Look at all these blog readers going berzerk over this shit.
Time for me to do the same. I'll use "Stoned Wheat Thins" for mine, and I'll call 'em "Stoned Asshole Sandwiches." Damn, I'm brilliant.
All you have to do is turn off your brain and the shit starts flowing.
HAAA you freakin crack me up
Don't steal my thunder, bro!
Stoned asshole sandwiches. LMMFAO brilliant.
The Cheez-It hot dog is bloody brilliant. They should hire you.
I had a nice phone conversation with their sales rep today...or was that their lawyer?
Whatever you do just avoid the bling that dumb ass wears, he looks gay as hell
I think the "cheez its" sandwiches, are freaking amazing. I love your undertone of sarcasm and how you just throw it out there.I completely agree, a fucking cracker is not an "amazing culinary art" Its a goddamn cracker. Its what you eat when you have run out of all other food.
I saw that dude on the super bowl pre-game show. Made me want to throw a brick through the TV.
I agree with you that Cheeze-Its are better than Ritz. But don't badmouth my guy Guy. He knows good food. It's just that he signed a six figure contract with Ritz and then the wake-up call came when they expected him to endorse the shit. He was humiliated, but the die was cast.
So what kind of big shot are you pretending to be? Does shoving shit between Cheeze-Its take more skill than shoving shit between Ritzeseses?
I fucking love this.
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