Saturday, January 29, 2011

Hipster Pancakes


It has come to my attention that the invasive species commonly known as hipsters has once again swarmed something we love and ruined it for everyone. The new hipster fad is to find stencils of their favorite obscure person/place/thing that you have never heard of and make "art" out of powdered sugar and pancakes. Apparently there is nothing sacred left in this world. It is bad enough all the cool neighborhoods have been destroyed by those vultures but now they have to fuck with our breakfast? All I know is they better not touch my bacon or we are going to have a serious fucking problem on our hands.

Since hipsters are purely superficial and have no real content, these pancakes must be made with Bisquick. Follow manufacturer's instructions. Place down the least recognizable stencil you can find, sprinkle on the powdered sugar, and remove stencil. Don't eat the pancakes. Just stare at them and bask in your own self-glory. Eat it.

22 comments:

FascistOtaku said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

That is awesome.

Cooking Asshole said...

It better be. Took me eight lightyears to make that stencil.

Jessica said...

Fantastic.

Kari said...

Goddamn hipsters need to stop intercoursing with flapjacks.

Elliot MacLeod-Michael said...

For fuck's sake, what next? I predict they will find a way to ruin blowjobs somehow.

Darren said...

hipsters are underwear right?

Tender Branson said...

Brilliant. What can they do with french toast?

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

i'm going to serve these on Ritz crackers.

kat822 said...

I want some that say "Riding the Short Bus" Ha !

Anonymous said...

Someone help with with the term "hipsters" please.

Definitions are all over the place, I thought it meant people who appreciated the legacy of specific actions/hobbies and embraced it fully.

Now it seems you are saying they are Johnny Come Lately types who don't care and just want to go all flash over substance.

PS I cook and have never used Bisquick.

Dana said...

I think this made my morning!

David Taylor said...

I think I can buy that Hipster crap in the UK. But I would prefer to make pancakes from scratch.

marie said...

I heard about a recipe similar to this this but it's really obscure. You probably wouldn't know it.

Anonymous said...

January has been an extremely productive month for you. Did you get fired from your job or something? I hope so. Can't get enough of your insulting the hedgehog chinned class. My theory is that the new pancake fad MAY mean that these dicks have finally realized that the tattoos on their necks are permanent and will not improve with age.

Anonymous said...

Hey Elliot, I hope that they don't ruin BJ's for your sake. You might go out of business selling them.
Nice hat, does your 8 year old sister know you stole it from her?



-James K Polk

Cooking Asshole said...

Haha! Burn City!

Rizza said...

I say next time, "put a bird on it"...

Cooking Asshole said...

Oh my God that is such a good idea! I wish I had thought of that. Damn...

Elliot MacLeod-Michael said...

@Anonymous

Cool story bro. I'm glad you were able to stop fapping to Ke$ha long enough to tell it.

yoyoyoyo said...

Who do you think hipster are? Someone who "follows the latest trends and fashions" like it says in the dictionary? Notice the word FOLLOWS? They think they're cool trend SETTERS and innovative fashion LEADERS when in fact, they are brain dead FOLLOWERS. And don't get me started on hippies, the asshole fools from the past. A fine example of their stupidity was their worship of CHE Revera (sp). The genius who destroyed Cuba's economy in record time, and murdered around 200,000 people. Why don't those cool hipsters go to Cuba and wallow in the glorious mud of socialism? I think I agree with you, for a change.

PussDaddy said...

LOL. There's a whole site of hipsters fucking with bacon already-it's called Etsy. Where have YOU been?

PD

LS said...

Hippies and hipsters have ruined our food.

Never seen a punk do it though.