Friday, January 7, 2011

Nutty Chocolate Pork Rods

4 Strips Bacon
2oz Dark Chocolate
1tbl butter
Diced Nuts

Chocolate covered bacon is nothing new but the common pleb stops there and if one is feeling particularly creative that person might add some sea salt. Don't fucking break your brains, guys. I, on the other hand, enjoy salty nuts so I got a few different kinds and had a four-way chocolate rod fest.

Cook your bacon in the oven at 375 degrees for 15 minutes. This way the bacon stays as flat as possible and cooks evenly. Make sure the bacon is nice and crisp. You don't want any limp pork rods. Over very low heat melt the butter and then stir in the chocolate until completely smooth. You can use a double boiler like a stupid shithead but it is completely unnecessary. Place the bacon strips on some wax paper and drizzle the chocolate over them. Top with the nuts and toss them in the fridge until hardened.

I used cashews, pistachios, Reece's Pieces, and pretzels. The latter two are not really nuts but whatever, I don't give a shit. You can copy me like a mindless idiot or you can think for yourself for once and add whatever the fuck you would enjoy on chocolate pork rods. Eat it.

15 comments:

Jessica said...

You would enjoy salty nuts.

Think bacon could work in a s'more?

Cooking Asshole said...

http://cookingforassholes.blogspot.com/2009/08/bacon-smores.html

Jessica said...

I should have known better. Apologies, sir.

Portland Charcuterie Project said...

I've got some salty nuts for you.

Aren't we over bacon yet?

Helle Kristine Tumbridge said...

Oh, oh, oh, I am off to make a pork rod sticky and rigid right now.

Cooking Asshole said...

As long as the people keep asking for it, I will keep making it...and then for another 20 years.

Stella said...

Hey Cooking A-hole! As you may know, I don't dig on swine (smile), but I used to and it is good. I'm sure the crispy bacon is wonderful with the chocolate and salty nuts.
Hope you have a very Happy New Year full of goodness and, of course, some hardcore sarcasm;-)!

Tender Branson said...

Everything in this post speaks double entendre. Probably the best named dish I've ever seen.

Psychocat said...

"Over" bacon? How the fuck could anyone who CAN eat it be "over" bacon? 41 years, and it's still the King of Meats to me!

=^..^=

Cooking Asshole said...

Basically.

KitchenSlut said...

Divine Swine baby! Life without bacon would not be worth living. I am seriously going to jack the idea for the pretzel bits

Cooking Asshole said...

The pretzel one was my favorite.

Psychocat said...

BTW, I tried mine with chopped, maple-glazed pecans, and it was FAAAAABULOUS!

=^..^=

Cooking Asshole said...

We have a thinker!

yoyoyoyo said...

Oh. you're the one who invented eating nuts with chocolate. Congratulations. So, are you about two hundred years old?
I've got your pork rod right here. ANYTHING tastes great with chocolate on it. And don't bother saying what you're thinking. You're not the first to suggest chocolate covered shit. That would have to be an exception. I'll give you that, asshole.