Love Birds OR Quail With a Bunch of Crap Shoved Up Its Ass and Braised in Red Wine

Photo and Suggestive Plating by Veronica Relph
http://nibblingisencouraged.blogspot.com/

4 Mushrooms, diced
1 Apple Sausage, diced
1 Shallot, diced
1-2 Cloves of Garlic, diced
4 Slices Pancetta, diced
Stale Bread, torn into small pieces
4 Quail
1c Red Wine
16oz Chicken Stock
Flour, for thickening

Happy Valentine’s Day, Bitches! Today is the day that many of you will be confronted with a harsh reality check. You single ladies will realize that you are destined to die alone only to be found weeks later in your studio apartment crushed by your collection of antique dolls and 15 cats. You single guys will grapple with the fact that you may never feel the soft touch of a true woman because you are too busy sticking your dick in inanimate objects while staring at a life-sized cut-out of Princess Leia. Finally, those of you in a long-term committed relationship will continue to hate your miserable existence and live in denial while robbing yourself of any true fulfillment. Luckily, I don’t fall into any of these categories so fuck all y’all and your depressing ass lives. Sucks to be you.

Sauté the mushroom, sausage, shallot, and garlic in a small-medium Le Creuset until the sausage is cooked through. Remove from heat, add the pancetta and breadcrumbs, and let cool. Get out the quail and shove your index and middle finger up their asses and wiggle them around a bit to loosen those girls up. Reserve the blood. Cram your stuffing in there filling them to the brim. Brown on all sides in the same Le Creuset with a little butter and remove from pan. Deglaze with the red wine and bring to a simmer. Add the chicken stock and return to a simmer. Mix the reserved blood and a few tablespoons of the cooking juices with some flour to form a paste. Whisk into the Le Creuset until combined. Toss the little birdies back in, cover, and simmer over low heat until fully cooked.

Serve with roasted garlic mashed potatoes. I'm not going to tell you how I did it because if you can't figure it out for yourself you have much bigger problems on your hands than no fucking roasted garlic mashed potatoes. Be sure to place the lady birds in various erotic positions. This is sure to tickle your unyielding partner's fancy. Eat it.