Thursday, February 3, 2011

The One-Upmanship Cooknie


4oz Dark Chocolate
1tbl Butter
Double Stuff Oreos
Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
Peanut Butter Bacon Cookie Dough
Brownie Batter
Ice Cream

Recently I have noticed a lot of people have been baking whole Oreo cookies into chocolate chip cookies and loudly proclaiming their stupidity. You think you’re stupid? Well guess what? I’m even more stupider. Even the true form of stupid can’t compete with my stupidness. So what did I do? I dipped Double Stuff Oreos in dark chocolate, covered them with chocolate chip cookie dough, covered again with peanut butter bacon cookie dough, took those cookies, baked them into a brownie, and served with ice cream. Boom.

Melt the chocolate and butter over very low heat. Dip the Oreos in the chocolate and set on parchment paper. When cooled, transfer to the freezer while you make the dough. Cover the chocolate Oreo in chocolate chip cookie dough. Cover that in the peanut butter bacon cookie dough. Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes. When the cookie cools, trim it into a square. Line a bread loaf Pyrex with aluminum foil and brush it with butter. Pour in half the brownie batter. Place down three square cookies. Cover with remaining batter. Bake it at 350 degrees for 54 minutes. Slice up the cooknie and plop down some ice cream.

What the fuck is up now, bitches? I just one-up’d your ass so bad you will not be able to walk right for the next week. What are you going to do? Nothing, that’s what. Eat it.

27 comments:

Jessica said...

It needs to be put on a stick and then deep-fried.

BOOM!

Cooking Asshole said...

I considered deep frying the cookies with my chocolate stout batter before baking them into the brownies but I didn't think the batter would hold up in the brownie.

*uncorked said...

Oh holy god. After I'm indicted and convicted of something (bound to happen) this will be my last meal.

Psychocat said...

True, the batter would not have held up inside the brownie - BUT - perhaps if you dipped squares of the brownie into the batter and deep-fried THAT....?

Just a suggestion...

=^..^=

Cooking Asshole said...

I should have known better...it can always get crazier

Rizza said...

I think I love you.

Cooking Asshole said...

Join the club.

Rizza said...

Thanks, I just did:D

Cooking Asshole said...

Haha! I can't believe I didn't think of putting a bird on those stupid pancakes.

Lauren K (blog catalog member) said...

Omg, that sounds amazing!

Tender Branson said...

I think you've gone too far. Crazier is just overkill.

Cooking Asshole said...

I would agree with you if it didn't taste like two angels fucking.

KitchenSlut said...

Dude, seriously, that sounds fucking phenomenal. I want your babies :)

Cooking Asshole said...

My seed comes at a price. This shit ain't free.

Angie's Recipes said...

Those cookies do look very man and delish!

Anonymous said...

I'm going to turn this into a baked alaska and serve it at my next dinner service in French cooking school. I'll just throw in the word "jambon" instead of "bacon" and I'm sure it will fly. I'll let you know when they tell Joel Robuchon to be my intern for the stage graduation requirement... You're welcome.

Cooking Asshole said...

No, YOU'RE welcome.

Antoinette said...

Uh, I think I love you?

Cooking Asshole said...

That's what they all say.

Antoinette said...

Portland is my old stomping grounds. I will enlist your help whenever I am in town. I am good for booze.

Cooking Asshole said...

That's what I like to hear!

Alex Neely Loves Cock! said...

evidently someone found the herb on the east coast...damn dude...u gonna share??

Cooking Asshole said...

I still have some left but I don't deliver. You will have to come pick it up on Capitol Hill.

Carrie said...

I believe such a concoction may be the key to your culinary undoing. Jesus may possibly come down a smite you personally for making two angels fuck on plate, because surely this creation is the result of some sort of pact between you and the devil. This sugar attack will surely be outlawed by states in the bible-belt first for being unholy because surely anything so wonderful is evil and will corrupt youth.

Way to go!

Cooking Asshole said...

Corruption is healthy.

yoyoyoyo said...

Oreos are for children. Grow up!
Chocolate is for bark with almonds in it.
The only cookies worth eating are oatmeal with raisins. (Anyone who puts chocolate in an oatmeal cookie needs to be shot.)

sugarvamps said...

Fantastic! I like the way you think. Clearly the next step is to turn this back into a sandwich cookie by slapping two together with some frosting.