Sunday, May 15, 2011
Pan Fried Soft-Shelled Blue Crabs with a Gherkin and Ramp Aioli
Dry White Wine
Fresh Lemon Juice, a small squeeze
Fresh Lemon Juice, a small spritz
Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Anyone can fry some soft-shelled crab, throw it on a hoagie, top it with remoulade, and call it a day but I shoot for the motherfucking stars. I did a flash white wine marinade, fried them, and topped with a true aioli flavored with gherkins and ramps. People who add shit to mayo and call it an aioli should have their foreheads seared with a branding iron that reads "Fucking Fraud." Furthermore, those Frenchie poofters call gherkins "cornichons" but that's because they have their heads so far up their asses they can see daylight. This is the US of fucking A and we speak American here. It's a goddamn gherkin.
Mix up all the ingredients in the white wine marinade, pour it over the crabs, and let them soak for 16 minutes. In the fridge, stupid.
In the meantime, get out your mortar and pestle and smash up the egg yolk, a small amount of dijon, a spritz of lemon juice, and some gherkin juice. Pour in the extra virgin olive oil at the speed of evolution while pounding it out to emulsify. If your sauce is broken, and it will be, you poured the olive oil in too quickly. To remedy, add another egg yolk and break out the cheater whisk. Taste as you go and when the flavors are right, add the gherkins and ramps, cover it, and toss in the fridge.
Pull out your crabs and dredge in flour. Shake off the excess flour and pan fry in hot ass vegetable oil for 4 minutes and 13 seconds per side. If you boil or steam soft-shelled crab you will have a disgusting mushy mess on your hands and everyone will laugh at you, again. Transfer to a paper towel lined plate to cool.
Plate on a bed of fancy lettuce and top with your aioli. Yes, you can consume the whole fucking thing. That's the point, genius. Eat it.