Shrimp and Grits

Shrimp
Water
Old Bay

Lardo/Fatback
Fresh Lemon Juice
Garlic, minced
Flour

Grits
Butter
Cheddar Cheese, grated

Poached Egg

For years shrimp and grits was exactly that: shrimp and grits. Recently a bunch of self-righteous asshats started gussying it up with all sorts of bullshit so they can feel better about themselves. For this recipe I have provided you the backbone of shrimp and grits. What you choose to do with it is your own fucking business but remember that there is beauty in simplicity.

Shell and devein the shrimp. Toss the shrimp with Old Bay and put them back in the fridge. Reserve all the shells and tails in a pot and pour in water until the shells are covered. Throw in some Old Bay for good measure. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, and simmer for about 45 minutes. Strain the juice through a sieve and set aside. When you pour the stock into the sieve, make sure there is a bowl underneath it to catch the liquid. I can just visualize you pouring it right down the drain.

Dice up the lardo and pan fry until lightly browned. You can use some other type of fatty pork product but I just had a bunch of this shit on hand. Pour in a very small amount of lemon juice and a few cloves of minced garlic. Stir it around for a minute and then add your shrimp. When the shrimp are a second away from being fully cooked, dump in a spoonful or two of flour. Stir it around for a minute or so and then add the reserved shrimp stock. Let it reduce for a few minutes and remove from heat.

If you didn't have a tiny bird brain in that oversized melonhead of yours, you would have already started making your grits. When they are done, stir in a shitload of butter and cheese.

To fancy mine up I added a poached egg. Everything is better with a poached egg. Even an over-easy or sunny side up egg on top of the shrimp pile would have been pretty badass. As for you, just don't get too crazy with the edible flowers. Eat it.