Bacon, a shitload
3lb Bone-In Chuck Blade Roast
1 large Yellow Onion, diced
1tbl Old Bay
1tbl Paprika
1tbl Chili Powder
1tsp Cumin
1tsp Oregano
1/2tsp Cayenne
6-8 Garlic Cloves, minced
25oz Diced Tomatoes, with juice
15oz Tomato Sauce
12oz Beer
6-8 Chipotle Peppers in Adobo, minced
Putting beans in meat chili is like french kissing a hooker; it's fucking disgusting. Only hippie vegetarians put beans in chili and that's only because they have no better alternative. What losers. Real chili is meat on meat, with more meat. The key, however, is using the right cuts.
Some people, stupid ones, use ground beef in chili. This has to be one of the dumbest ideas in the history of human civilization, besides "democracy" of course. That ground up garbage cooks in thirty seconds and after three hours of simmering it is completely obliterated and flavorless. The best meat to use is chuck roast as it is designed for slow simmering and tastes infinitely better. The more you know.
Get out a big ass pot and start cooking your bacon. Take out your chuck blade roast and cut it up into pieces. I ain't no professional meat slicing dude but I figured out the easiest way to cut it is along the marbling. Section it off and reserve the bones and large fat packs. Cut the remaining pieces into cubes that are a little bit larger than bite size as they will shrink. When the bacon is transparent, remove it from the pot, lightly brown the beef (including the bone and fat packs) in the bacon grease, and remove it from the pot.
Toss in your onion and spices. I always saute spices with onion and other shit. I'm not sure if it does anything but psychologically I think I am making them "fragrant." Whatever. If the pot is too dry at this point pour in a little vegetable oil. Add your garlic and stir that shit around for another minute. Throw in the tomato products, reserved meats, beer, and chipotle peppers. Lightly simmer uncovered for three hours, stirring occasionally. Don't forget to remove the bones and fat packs before serving, genius. Eat it.
14 comments:
"Real chili is meat on meat, with more meat."
So, instead of kissing a hooker, it's more like gay porn?
To take this from good to classic, you need to add beans.
No beans!
What the hell is a "fat pack"?
That's probably not the right word but it's the large hunks of fat on the roast.
You ever try a piece of chocolate in your chili? Last time I did after a recommendation and it was bull shit. It just made my chili look more like diarrhea after drinking some Pepto.
And how do you go from making habenero cake to chili with only chipotle peppers? Get some spice in there brother!
I'll have to try the chuck roast next time, as I'm one of those idiots that overcook their hamburger by about 2 1/2 hours.
Fuck you. Eat the damn fat packs. Fucking delicious as hell. Awesome fucking recipe as usual otherwise.
What kind of beer did you use? I threw a bottle of smoked porter in a pot of beans recently and it was great; thinking that would work smashingly for chili too.
Chili was first created out of the necessity to use beans as a protein source because meat was sometimes scarce. So, "real" chili is actually vegetarian you fucking asshole.
That being said; I completely agree with you.
I'm one of those little bitch hippies that puts the beans and veggies in chili without fail...but this sounds awesome. I'll have to try this one day, it'll probably change my bias against all meat chili.
Smoked porter or any other rauchbier would compliment the chipotle quite well. I just used an IPA I had on hand.
The "authentic" shit usually sucks ass.
No beans!
Any recipe with chipotle is a recipe I fucking need. This shit induces orgasmic fits faster than a $40 hooker in the bronx.
Thanks man, I'll be making this tonight.
Late to the party but an announcement--this chili is officially the fucking shit. Made it today--my only changes were adding more crushed tomatoes in lieu of beer because I fucking didn't have any and didn't feel like running out to get some and I did this in the crock pot. The husband likes beans so I drained and rinsed a can of kidney beans, put them in the bottom of his bowl--I split the can up, he had two helpings--and put the chili on top. He fucking loved it and the beans weren't mush like they usually are in chili (yeah, I tasted it like every fucking good cook should). This is going into my rotation and I'm already figuring out the logistics for a massive Super Bowl batch of this tasty fucking stuff.
How do you not have beer?
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